“Champagne Charley is your name, so is Turtle soup, so is succulent food, and plenty of it.  Generally provision the fortress, and withstand the assaults of the enemy.  If a bacillus creeps in through a loophole, knock him on the head with the best champagne at hand, and, if you’re not worse in a day or two, you’ll be better in a week! Au revoir!” Exit Dr. MARK TAPLEY.

* * * * *

And so the Baron remained within, and sent for his books, and above all One of Our Conquerors, by “The GEO. M.,” who is the CARLYLE of Novelists.  The first volume was missing.  In a few days it had returned.  The first chapters, however, seemed still wandering.  But the Baron was better, and could follow them slowly, though not without effort, wondering whither he was being led.  When he arrives at Chapter VII., unless the novelist ceases to meander, the Baron will exclaim with Hamlet, “Speak!  I’ll go no further!” Yet, ’tis marvellous clever and entertaining withal.

* * * * *

Perhaps there will be a vacation after this attack of Miss Influenza on the unfortunate Baron.  Alas! for the present, it is La Donna Influenza who is “One of Our Conquerors!”

* * * * *

This morning, after a fortnight of it, the Baron was about to announce that he was better, but at the outset he paused, corrected himself, and, tapping the breakfast-table with his fork, he exclaimed, “Beroofen!”

Moral.—­Be quite sure you’re out of the wood, though maybe you were never in it, and even then don’t congratulate yourself.  “Mumm"’s the word (so’s “Pommery” also by the way, not forgetting “Greno,” all such being excellent Fizzic for the Epidemic), as to your state of health, and don’t forget the charm—­“Beroofen!”

* * * * *

SUMMER!

(SKETCHED, IN METRICAL SPASMS, BY A SUFFERER THEREFROM.)

[Illustration]

  Damp days,
    Chill nights;
  Morning haze,
    Evening blights;
  Grey skies,
    Sodden earth;
  Butterflies
    Weak at birth;
  Gloom over,
    Grime under;
  Soaked clover. 
    Hail, thunder;
  Wind, wet,
    Squelch, squash;
  Gingham yet,
    Mackintosh;
  Lawns afloat,
    Paths dirt;
  Top-coat,
    Flannel shirt;
  Lilacs drenched,
    Laburnums pallid;
  Spirits quenched,
    Souls squalid;
  Tennis “off,”
    Icy breeze;
  Croak, cough,
    Wheeze, sneeze;
  Cramped cricket,
    Arctic squall;
  Drenched wicket,
    Soaked ball;
  Park a puddle. 
    Row a slough;
  Muck, muddle,
    Slush, snow;
  Hay-fever
    (No hay!)
  Spoilt beaver,
    Shoes asplay;
  Lilies flopping,
    Washed-out roses;
  Eaves dropping,