his teeth filed to sharp points—­and each painful process enables the victim to pose as a leader of fashion in the tribe.  As the race rises higher, the refinements of dandyism become more and more complex, but the ruling motive remains the same, and the Macaroni, the Corinthian, the Incroyable, the swell, the dude—­nay, even the common toff—­are all mysteriously stirred by the same instinct which prompts the festive Papuan to bore holes in his innocent nose.  Who then shall sneer at the dandy?  Does he not fulfil a law of our nature?  Let us rather regard him with toleration, or even with some slight modicum of reverence.  Solemn historians affect to smile at the gaudy knights of the second Richard’s Court, who wore the points of their shoes tied round their waists; they even ridicule the tight, choking, padded coats worn by George IV., that pattern father of his people; but I see in the stumbling courtier and the half-asphyxiated wearer of the padded Petersham coat two beings who act under the demands of inexorable law.

Our great modern sage brooded in loneliness for some six years over the moving problem of dandyism, and we have the results of his meditations in “Sartor Resartus.”  We have an uneasy sense that he may be making fun of us—­in fact, we are almost sure that he is; for, if you look at his summary of the doctrines put forth in “Pelham,” you can hardly fail to detect a kind of sub-acid sneer.  Instead of being impressed by the dainty musings of the learned Bulwer, that grim vulturine sage chose to curl his fierce lips and turn the whole thing to a laughing-stock.  We must at once get to that summary of what the great Thomas calls “Dandiacal doctrine,” and then just thinkers may draw their own conclusions.

Articles of Faith.—­1.  Coats should have nothing of the triangle about them; at the same time wrinkles behind should be carefully avoided. 2.  The collar is a very important point; it should be low behind, and slightly rolled. 3.  No license of fashion can allow a man of delicate taste to adopt the posterial luxuriance of a Hottentot. 4.  There is safety in a swallowtail. 5.  The good sense of a gentleman is nowhere more finely developed than in his rings. 6.  It is permitted to mankind, under certain restrictions, to wear white waistcoats. 7.  The trousers must be exceedingly tight across the hips.

Then the sage observes, “All which propositions I for the present content myself with modestly, but peremptorily and irrevocably, denying.”  Wicked Scotchman, rugged chip of the Hartz rock, your seven articles of the Whole Duty of the Dandy are evidently solemn fooling!  You despised Lytton in your heart, and you thought that because you wore a ragged duffel coat in gay Hyde Park you had a right to despise the human ephemera who appeared in inspiriting splendour.  I have often laughed at your solemn enumeration of childish maxims, but I am not quite sure that you were altogether right in sneering.