remorse is the most terrible torture known. The
wind cries in the dark and the trees moan; the agonized
man who lies waiting the morning thinks of the times
when the whistle of the wind was the gladdest of sounds
to him; his old ambitions wake from their trance and
come to gaze on him reproachfully; he sees that fortune
(and mayhap fame) have passed him by, and all through
his own fault; he may whine about imaginary wrongs
during the day when he is maudlin, but the night fairly
throttles him if he attempts to turn away from the
stark truth, and he remains pinned face to face with
his beautiful, dead self. Then, with a start,
he remembers that he has no friends. When he crawls
out in the morning to steady his hand he will be greeted
with filthy public-house cordiality by the animals
to whose level he has dragged himself, but of friends
he has none. Now, is it not marvellous? Drink
is so jolly; prosperous persons talk with such a droll
wink about vagaries which they or their friends committed
the night before; it is all so very, very lightsome!
The brewers and distillers who put the mirth-inspiring
beverages into the market receive more consideration,
and a great deal more money, than an average European
prince;—and yet the poor dry-rotted unfortunate
whose decadence we are tracing is like a leper in
the scattering effects which he produces during his
shaky promenade. He is indeed alone in the world,
and brandy or gin is his only counsellor and comforter.
As to character, the last rag of that goes when the
first sign of indolence is seen; the watchers have
eyes like cats, and the self-restrained men among
them have usually seen so many fellows depart to perdition
that every stage in the process of degradation is
known to them. No! there is not a friend, and
dry, clever gentlemen say, “Yes. Good chap
enough once on a day, but can’t afford to be
seen with him now.” The soaker is amazed
to find that women are afraid of him a little, and
shrink from him—in fact, the only people
who are cordial with him are the landlords, among whom
he is treated as a sort of irresponsible baby.
“I may as well have his money as anybody else.
He shan’t get outrageously drunk here, but he
may as well moisten his clay and keep himself from
being miserable. If he gets the jumps in the
night that’s his look-out.” That is
the soaker’s friend. The man is not unkind;
he is merely hardened, and his morals, like those of
nearly all who are connected with the great Trade,
have suffered a twist. When the soaker’s
last penny has gone, he will receive from the landlord
many a contemptuously good-natured gift—pity
it is that the lost wastrel cannot be saved before
that weariful last penny huddles in the corner of
his pocket.
While the harrowing descent goes on our suffering wretch is gradually changing in appearance: the piggish element that is latent in most of us comes out in him; his morality is sapped; he will beg, borrow, lie, and steal; and, worst of all, he is a butt for thoughtless young fellows. The last is the worst cut of all, for the battered, bloodless, sunken ne’er-do-well can remember only too vividly his own gallant youth, and the thought of what he was drives him crazed.


