Chairman of Committees still stick to Westminster.  But we have GORST, one of the Deputy-Speakers, who presides with dignity and despatch.  JACKSON looks after arrangement of business.  AKERS-DOUGLAS whips up the Conservatives, assisted by SYDNEY HERBERT and ARTHUR HILL.  THOMAS ESMONDE brings up to the scratch TANNER, SWIFT MACNEILL, and PIERCE MAHONY.  On Treasury Bench MICHAEL BEACH sits in place of OLD MORALITY, being supported by GEORGIE HAMILTON, STUART WORTLEY, and JAMES FERGUSSON, whilst KNUTSFORD and DERBY look down from Peers’ Gallery.  On Front Opposition Bench Mr. G., just arrived; finds JOHN MORLEY, OSBORNE AP MORGAN, KAY-SHUTTLEWORTH, and MUNDELLA.  WOLMER not yet arrived, but daily expected.  Meanwhile JOHN LUBBOCK, MUNTZ, T.W.  RUSSELL, and the Wiwacious WIGGIN here, ready to obey the Whip, when issued.

CHARLES FORSTER, looks after petitions for us; FRANK LOCKWOOD draws us out (or in, as the case may be); ALGERNON BORTHWICK throws an air of fashionable society around us; the Reverberating COLOMB lifts his tall head in our midst; ISAAC HOLDEN never tires of telling the fascinating story of how he discovered the lucifer-match; HENNIKER HEATON passes the time writing letters to RAIKES, and complains that the Postmaster-General has his communications ostentatiously fumigated before opening them; SEYMOUR KEAY says he must get back to Westminster (nobody says him nay), or Land Bill would be getting passed through Committee; and here is the Grand Young GARDNER and his wife—­Lady WINIFRED, of course, looking down on us from Ladies’ Gallery.

Have on the whole a very good time.  Looked after by RUSTEM ROOSE, whose cure is as alluring as it is infallible.  “Eat, drink and sleep,” he says.  “Lie on your back and sedulously do nothing.”  So whilst they storm and fret at Westminster, here, in hollow Lotos Land we live and lie reclining.  Pleasant to hear RUSTEM ROOSE’s voice as he goes his morning rounds, stethoscope in hand.  “A long breath, dear friend:  say ’74; Pommery, certainly if you like; a pint at luncheon and a roast chicken.  Turn over, dear friend; another long breath; say ’80; de Lanson, of course, if you prefer it; a pint at dinner with a fried sole and a porterhouse steak; or, if you are tired of champagne, take a pint of claret with a glass or two of port.  A long breath, dear friend; say ’50; three glasses if ’50 port won’t do you any harm.”

Worst of it is we’re all getting better, and shall be back to the grind at Westminster after Whitsuntide. Business done.—­All taking long breaths.

* * * * *

THE DIS-ORDER OF THE DAY.—­In the House of Commons on the Motion of the First Lord of the Treasury, it was resolved that Influenza, M.P., be expelled.  Mr. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN, Leader of the Opposition, pro tem., moved to amend the Resolution by adding “at once.”  This was agreed to nem. con. The Serjeant-at-Arms was thereupon ordered to remove Influenza.  He declined on the ground that if he did he might catch it.  After some conversation the debate was adjourned.  Influenza left sitting on Members generally.—­Extract from the Fifteenth of May’s Parliamentary Report.