Mazemaster loquitur:—­

  Poor little man!  Yes, I had a plan, and a perfectly plain one, too, boy;
  But—­I fear—­for a moment—­I’ve—­lost the clue!  Ah!  I’m awfully sorry for
      you boy! 
  You have been on your feet for a precious long time, and all this
      roundaboutation,
  Is “plusquam-Thucydidean,” perhaps, and at any rate mean aggravation. 
  But you’ll please understand I’m a very “cool hand;” there’s abundance of
      “humour” about me,
  And though for a jiffy I seem at a loss, don’t you come for to go for to
      doubt me.

  ’Tis most complicated, this Miz-Maze!  I’ve stated the clue I’ve let slip
      for a moment,
  And LABBY, no doubt, and his henchmen, will shout and indulge in invidious
      comment: 
  The Times, too, may gird, and declare ’tis absurd not to know one’s own
      Labyrinth better. 
  The Times is my friend, but a trifle too fond of the goad and the scourge
      and the fetter;
  You really can’t rule the whole civilised world with the aid of the whip
      and the closure;
  Though I should enjoy—­but no matter, my boy, let us try to maintain our
      composure!
  When shall we get out? That’s a matter of doubt, cross-hedges my pathway
      still chequer,
  The clue I’ve let slip, but you just take my tip; we’ll get clear—­if you
      keep up your pecker!

* * * * *

CHANGE FOR THIRTY-FIVE SHILLINGS.

There is a singular directness of purpose in the following advertisement which appears in the Daily News:—­

    REPORTER (27), now on Weekly, WANTS CHANGE. 35s.

The advertiser not only wants change, but he mentions the exact sum.  It seems odd.  One often wants change for a sovereign, and even oftener wants the sovereign itself.  But what precise coin a man hands you when he wants thirty-five shillings change is not quite clear.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  IN A MAZE.

MASTER LAND BILL.  “OH, MR. BALFOUR, I’M SO TIRED!”

MR. B.  “CHEER UP, LITTLE MAN!  NEXT TURN TO THE RIGHT,—­AND I HOPE WE SHALL BE
OUT OF IT!!”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Dealer’s Man (confidentially).  “NICE ’OSS, SIR.  JUST SUIT YOU, SIR.  NICE PERMISCUOUS ’OSS, SIR!—­YOU CAN SIT ON HIM A’MOST ANYWHERE!”]

* * * * *

LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE’S DIARY.

Billsbury, May 5.—­Received the following letter from TOLLAND yesterday:—­

45, Main Street, Billsbury, May 3.

DEAR MR. PATTLE,