Business done.—­Wound up for Easter Holidays.

* * * * *

CRITICISING THE CALENDAR.

SIR,—­The suggestion of your Correspondent “EASTER EGG,” who wishes Easter to be a fixed festival, always coming on April 20, is excellent.  At present, Easter-tide, like the other tide, depends on the moon.  What a humiliating confession!  Why should we any longer consent to be the slaves of the (so-called) Science of Astronomy?

    Yours, REFORMING SPIRIT.

SIR,—­What’s all this fuss about Easter being too early this year?  It isn’t half early enough.  It ought to have come last Christmas, and Whitsuntide the same, and then we should have polished off three public holiday seasons—­public nuisances, I call them,—­at once.

    Yours, gloomily, TRUE PHILANTHROPIST.

SIR,—­I have just been horrified to hear that one of my boys now at home from school remains with us for a three weeks’ vacation!  The early date of Easter is the paltry excuse offered by his Headmaster for this infliction.  Anybody can see through such a flimsy pretext.  His brother is to have his holiday four weeks later.  The result is that the boys will see nothing of each other during their holidays, while their parents will see a great deal too much.  How can brotherly affection—­I say nothing of fatherly affection,—­that priceless blessing, which I flatter myself I always conspicuously display—­be expected to continue under these depressing conditions?

    Yours, exasperatedly, FOND PARENT.

SIR,—­As peeple are riting lettres to you about the Easter holy-days, I should like you to put in what old BOREHAM—­he’s our Principul—­has been doing.  We all think it a thundring shame.  He kept us grinding away right through Good Friday, Easter Monday, and means us to go on several weeks afterwards!  The result was we had about half a Hot Cross-Bun each!  Old BOREHAM akshally fixed Easter Monday for going over all the Latin irreglur verbs.  Pleese would you say something in your valyble collums about old BOREHAM, and oblige

    Yours, obedjiently, SMITH (Tertius), Rodchester.

* * * * *

NOTICE.—­Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper.  To this rule there will be no exception.