“How’s that, Umpire?” CHUNNEL-TANNEL asked, carrying out his bat.  “Well played, indeed!” said the SPEAKER.

Seemed at one time as if blood would flow, and gore would stain the floor of House.  BARNES and WIGGINS were in it, but what it was all about not quite clear.  Something to do with a coal-truck.  As far as could be made out from choked utterances of BARNES, there had at some remote period been a coal-truck despatched to London by the Midland route.  Something happened to it; either it was delayed, or it arrived empty, or it didn’t arrive at all.  However, it was quite clear to BARNES that the time had come when a new line of railway giving direct access to London from the Midlands was an urgent necessity.  WIGGINS observed to be wriggling in his seat during the BARNES oration.  Made several attempts to catch SPEAKER’s eye; at length succeeded; his suppressed fury was terrible to behold:  his rage Titanic.  He at least knew all about that coal-truck; though, as far as House was concerned, he did not succeed in lifting the mystery in which BARNES had enveloped it.  Whether it was WIGGINS’s coal, or merely WIGGINS’s truck; whether WIGGINS happened to be in the truck when it went astray; or whether it was BARNES that was in it; or whether nothing was in it but the coal; or whether, coming back to an earlier point, there was no coal in the truck when it did (or did not) arrive at St. Pancras:  these were questions the House vainly pursued, withered, as it was, under the wrath of WIGGINS The only point clearly perceived was, that BIGGINS is a director of Midland Railway.

[Illustration:  “About that Coal Truck?”]

In ordinary circumstances there are not to be found in House two more affable men than BARNES and WIGGINS.  Amongst many other virtues, WIGGINS is, SARK tells me, one of the best judges of cigars in House, and is never without a sample in his case.  It is sad to think that a man so gifted by nature, so favoured by fortune, should let his angry passions rise round a coal-truck.  House, contemplating the episode, glad to shut it out by rushing off to Division Lobby. Business done.—­Manchester, Sheffield, and Lincolnshire Railway Bill, Read a Second Time, by 212 Votes to 103.

Thursday.—­House engaged in considering Lords’ Amendments to Tithes Bill.  Things as dull as usual; House nearly empty; walk about corridors through tea-room, newspaper-room, and library; almost deserted; in smoking-room came upon little group playing cards; three of them; SOLICITOR-GENERAL, CHABLES RUSSELL, and ASQUITH, LOCKWOOD looking on.

“I suppose,” I said, “they’re playing whist; why don’t you make up the hand?”