At length his finger-tips have pressed
  The fingers of his JONES distressed: 
  Both curvatures then sink to rest.

  A sort of anguish lisped proceeds
  Prom either’s mouth, but neither heeds
  The other’s half-heroic deeds.

  Exhausted, neither much can say;
  Complacent, each pursues his way;
  And JONES and BBOWN have lived to-day.

  For both have sought by strenuous strain
  To demonstrate, in face of pain,
  That friends they were, and friends remain.

  Ah, wonderful!  Can Poets deem
  Self-sacrifice a fading dream? 
  Are salutations what they seem?

  Is BROWN some Altruist in disguise,
  And JONES an Ibsenite likewise,
  That thus they flop and agonise?—­

  Or are the pair affected fools,
  Who catch by rote the silly rules
  Of third-rate fashionable schools?

* * * * *

COURT COLD!

(A PAGE FROM THE DIARY OF A CHAPERON.)

They commanded her to rise early.  She knew that the day’s doings would be a terrible ordeal, but she came of a bold and sturdy race, and felt herself equal to any emergency.  And so as the morning broke—­as daylight crept through the foggy air—­she prepared for the sacrifice.  Yes, sacrifice; for was it not a sacrifice to barter away youth, pride, nay, life itself!  And I had a hand in the matter!  Ah, me—­but away with vain regret!

I have been told since that they were hours and hours arranging her toilette.  So long did it take that she was scarcely able to break her fast.  She had, I believe, a cup of tea, and if rumour is to be credited, a couple of slices of thin bread-and-butter!  Well, it is over now, and I can think of it almost without tears!

I called for her shortly after noon—­for the lot had fallen upon me, and I was destined to attend her to her doom—­she was very calm, and even smiled as I kissed her.  She shivered a little as she sank beside me.  I bade her to wrap her shawl more closely around her, and after she had complied with my command she seemed more at ease.

And now our conveyance had come to a full stop.  We were surrounded by a sea of vulgar, hideous faces, grinning and mocking at us!  My charge clung to me for protection.  The laughter and the jeers increased tenfold.  Then I cast her away from me roughly, whereupon followed yells mixed with savage laughter.  She, poor girl, regained her composure, and gazed at the multitude with the dignity of an outraged queen.  And they laughed the more!  Laughed the more!

At length we were set free, and made our way to a large apartment, where we were divested of our wraps, and left in costumes better adapted to late June than to early March, or mid-December.  We were then ordered to advance.  We were driven from one bitterly cold room to another, until we knew not whether the blood was circulating in our veins, or had frozen.  We had many fellow-sufferers, and these poor creatures pushed against us, and fought with us.  The great object of everyone was to get to the end of our journey!