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A MERE SUGGESTION FOR NEXT TIME.—­Last Tuesday, under the heading of “To-day,” the Times announced that “at the Society of Arts Mr. J. STARKIE GARDNER, as Cantor Lecturer, would discourse on ’Enamelling and Damascening,’ Professor H. HERKOMER being in the Chair.”  Our excellent Bushian Professor was the right man in the right place, being so interested in theatrical matters; but, at the same time, wouldn’t the lecture on “Damascening,” or “How to Dam-a-scene,” have been more suitably given at the Playwreckers’ Club, with Mr. JERUMKY JERUM in the Chair?

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SONG OF THE BELLS OF RICHMOND.—­“Turn again, WHITTAKER, First Mayor of Richmond.”

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[Illustration:  A NEW SECT.

“AND IS THE NEW CURATE MARRIED, MRS. JENKINS?”

“OH NO, MA’AM.  HE’S WHAT THEY CALL A CHALYBEATE!”]

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ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday Night, March 9.—­Naval Estimates on again.  Approach delayed by action of CAMERON; House been Counted Out on Friday; necessary for Government to set up Supply again; formal Motion made by JACKSON; CAMERON objects; deeply distressed to think that Government should have fallen so low as to permit Count Out.  “It’s really shocking,” he said, “Here we are brought from our peaceful homes to London at this inclement season, to do the work of the nation.  Assembled as usual on a Friday night; important business on; Ministers and their friends go off to dinner; and, it being found there are not Forty Members present, House is Counted Out at half-past eight.  Night absolutely lost; Sitting criminally chucked away.”

“Ah!” I said, sympathetically; “must have been very hard upon you, sternly attending to your duty whilst others gambolled in the shade.  And then to be suddenly Counted Out!  How many of you were there when the Count was made?”

[Illustration:  “Count” Cameron]

“Well—­er—­you see, TOBY,” said CAMERON, almost blushing; “the fact is I wasn’t there myself, though that, of course, does not deter me from invoking censure on Ministers.  Indeed I am not sure that the circumstance doesn’t place me in a more favourable position.  Outsiders, you know, see most of game.  I was outside; had, in fact, comfortably gone off to dinner, expecting other people would stop to make House.  But they didn’t, and I feel I’m just the man to make it hot for OLD MORALITY and his friends, who ought to have been here.”

Other people didn’t seem to see it in quite that light.  Condemnatory Motion negatived by 184 Votes against 42.