[Mem.—­Mr. Punch suspects that the above edifying and idiomatic homily was intended for some sporting contemporary, but, with his accustomed courtesy, he gives it for what it is worth.]

* * * * *

TO A COMPLIMENTARY COUNSEL.

    ["Here the Plaintiff met the Defendant, who formed a strong
    attachment for her, at which he (the learned Counsel), did not
    wonder.”—­Extract from a recent Report.]

  The Plaintiff she was very fair—­
    I’d very gladly make a verse on
  Her face, her smile, her eyes, her hair,
    Her comely and attractive person. 
  Last year a gentleman had stormed
    Her heart and swore that nought should sunder
  The strong attachment he had formed,
    At which you said you “did not wonder!”

  Oh! tell me was it quite the thing,
    Of prudence shamelessly defiant,
  In such a pointed way to sing
    The praises of your pretty client. 
  Had she been ugly—­yes, or plain,
    Would you have reckoned it your duty
  To say how much it caused you pain
    To look and mark her lack of beauty?

  Perhaps you meant the words you said,
    ’Twould be amusing to discover
  If she had really turned your head,
    And in her lawyer found a lover. 
  Yet even should this be the case,
    You cannot well escape supporting
  This statement—­that it’s not the place
    In open Court to go a-courting.

  When next a lady comes to say
    That He and She at last have parted,
  And that she’ll make the villain pay
    For having left her broken-hearted,
  You’ll recollect that in the Breach
    Of Promise Case, you must not blunder,
  But mention in your opening speech
    That at his love you do not wonder.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  RECOGNITION OF MERIT.

The M Dougall, L.C.C. (to Cambridge Don).  “WELL DONE!  THE SPINSTER TO THE SPINNING HOUSE!  You ARE INDEED A PROCTOR AND A BROTHER!”]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

The Quiet Mrs. Fleming is very nearly being a good novel of the kind with which “once upon a time” Mr. F.C.  PHILIPS used to delight us.  Mr. RICHARD PRYCE’s Quiet Mrs. F. might perhaps be placed in the same category with F.C.P.’s. Little Mrs. Murray, which was not by any means the Author’s best.  The story, like the Consols, is good enough for those who don’t want much interest for their money.  It may be safely recommended as a pleasant companion during a railway journey.  The Baron does not consider that The Quiet Mrs. F. will make much noise in the novel-reading world.