THE TATLER, NUMB. 35.

FROM TUESDAY JUNE 28.  TO THURSDAY JUNE 30. 1709.

“Sir,[1]

“Not long since[2] you were pleased to give us a chimerical account of the famous family of Staffs, from whence I suppose you would insinuate, that it is the most ancient and numerous house in all Europe.  But I positively deny that it is either; and wonder much at your audacious proceedings in this matter, since it is well known, that our most illustrious, most renowned, and most celebrated Roman family of Ix, has enjoyed the precedency to all others from the reign of good old Saturn.  I could say much to the defamation and disgrace of your family; as, that your relations Distaff and Broomstaff were both inconsiderate mean persons, one spinning, the other sweeping the streets, for their daily bread.  But I forbear to vent my spleen on objects so much beneath my indignation.  I shall only give the world a catalogue of my ancestors, and leave them to determine which hath hitherto had, and which for the future ought to have, the preference.

“First then comes the most famous and popular lady Meretrix, parent of the fertile family of Bellatrix, Lotrix, Netrix, Nutrix, Obstetrix, Famulatrix, Coctrix, Ornatrix, Sarcinatrix, Fextrix, Balneatrix, Portatrix, Saltatrix, Divinatrix, Conjectrix, Comtrix, Debitrix, Creditrix, Donatrix, Ambulatrix, Mercatrix, Adsectrix, Assectatrix, Palpatrix, Praeceptrix, Pistrix.

“I am yours,

“ELIZ.  POTATRIX.”

[Footnote 1:  This letter is introduced: 

“From my own Apartment, June 29.

“It would be a very great obligation, and an assistance to my treatise upon punning, if any one would please to inform me in what class among the learned, who play with words, to place the author of the following letter.”

The proposed work had been promised in the 32nd number of “The Tatler,” where it was stated that, “I shall dedicate this discourse to a gentleman, my very good friend, who is the Janus of our times, and whom, by his years and wit, you would take to be of the last age; but by his dress and morals, of this.” [T.S.]]

[Footnote 2:  In the 11th number of “The Tatler,” by Heneage Twisden. [T.S.]]

THE TATLER, NUMB. 59.

FROM TUESDAY AUGUST 23.  TO THURSDAY AUGUST 25. 1709.

Will’s Coffee-house, August 24.

The author of the ensuing letter, by his name, and the quotations he makes from the ancients, seems a sort of spy from the old world, whom we moderns ought to be careful of offending; therefore I must be free, and own it a fair hit where he takes me, rather than disoblige him.