BURGE [suddenly bursting into energetic action and shaking hands heartily with Conrad] By reputation only, but very well, of course.  How I wish I could have devoted myself to biology!  I have always been interested in rocks and strata and volcanoes and so forth:  they throw such a light on the age of the earth. [With conviction] There is nothing like biology.  ’The cloud-capped towers, the solemn binnacles, the gorgeous temples, the great globe itself:  yea, all that it inherit shall dissolve, and, like this influential pageant faded, leave not a rack behind.’  Thats biology, you know:  good sound biology. [He sits down.  So do the others, Franklyn on the stool, and Conrad on his Chippendale].  Well, my dear Barnabas, what do you think of the situation?  Dont you think the time has come for us to make a move?

FRANKLYN.  The time has always come to make a move.

BURGE.  How true!  But what is the move to be?  You are a man of enormous influence.  We know that.  Weve always known it.  We have to consult you whether we like it or not.  We—­

FRANKLYN [interrupting firmly] I never meddle in party politics now.

SAVVY.  It’s no use saying you have no influence, daddy.  Heaps of people swear by you.

BURGE [shining at her] Of course they do.  Come! let me prove to you what we think of you.  Shall we find you a first-rate constituency to contest at the next election?  One that wont cost you a penny.  A metropolitan seat.  What do you say to the Strand?

FRANKLYN.  My dear Burge, I am not a child.  Why do you go on wasting your party funds on the Strand?  You know you cannot win it.

BURGE.  We cannot win it; but you—­

FRANKLYN.  Oh, please!

SAVVY.  The Strand’s no use, Mr Burge.  I once canvassed for a Socialist there.  Cheese it.

BURGE.  Cheese it!

HASLAM [spluttering with suppressed laughter] Priceless!

SAVVY.  Well, I suppose I shouldnt say cheese it to a Right Honorable. 
But the Strand, you know!  Do come off it.

FRANKLYN.  You must excuse my daughter’s shocking manners, Burge; but I agree with her that popular democratic statesmen soon come to believe that everyone they speak to is an ignorant dupe and a born fool into the bargain.

BURGE [laughing genially] You old aristocrat, you!  But believe me, the instinct of the people is sound—­

CONRAD [cutting in sharply] Then why are you in the Opposition instead of in the Government?

BURGE [shewing signs of temper under this heckling] I deny that I am in the Opposition morally.  The Government does not represent the country.  I was chucked out of the Coalition by a Tory conspiracy.  The people want me back.  I dont want to go back.

FRANKLYN [gently remonstrant] My dear Burge:  of course you do.