* * * * *

[Illustration:  SYMPATHETIC EGOISM OF GENIUS.

(A Study.)

“DON’T RUN AWAY YET, OLD MAN!  IT’S QUITE EARLY, AND I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR ACADEMY PICTURE, WHICH I’M TOLD IS SPLENDID.”

    [Proceeds to describe his own at great length, and then
    suddenly finds out how late it is, and bolts!]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, Jan. 26.—­PLUNKET undoubtedly the most successful Commissioner of Works of recent times.  A little coolness sprung up between him and CAVENDISH BENTINCK about those staircases in Westminster Hall.  But chacun a son idea of a staircase.  PLUNKET quite as likely to be right as C.B.  Always doing something to improve arrangements of House.  Does it quietly, too; Members know nothing about it till they come down and find new Smoking-room, fresh arrangements of lights, new rooms for Ministers, and occasionally a priceless old table adorning Tea-room.  Various accounts of its origin.  Some say Magna Charta signed on it.  Others fixing earlier date and attracted by the initials “W.R.” clearly carved on left leg, affirm that it is the very table on which WILLIAM REX took his five o’clock tea after Battle of Hastings.

[Illustration:  “Dear me!”]

Latest surprise prepared by First Commissioner is illumination of entrance to House from Lobby, cunningly effected by electric lights set within recesses of arch.  SCHNAD-HORST, revisiting House after long interval, astonished at this.  “Making things very comfortable in anticipation of our coming in,” he says, smiling sweetly.

Later came upon NICHOLAS WOODS; found him standing in attitude of patient and intelligent expectation.  “What are you waiting there for?” I asked.  “Why don’t you come in and hear SWINBURNE make one or two speeches on Tithes Bill?”

“Well—­er—­fact is,” said NICHOLAS, steadfastly keeping his eyes on archway, “WILFRID LAWSON told me that if I was here about eleven o’clock I would see PLUNKET and the ATTORNEY-GENERAL come out under the archway dancing a pas de deux.  Couldn’t make out when I arrived what the illumination was for; asked LAWSON.  ‘Oh’ says he, ’it’s the First Commissioner’s reminiscence of one of the alcoves at Vauxhall Gardens.’  Then he told me about PLUNKET and WEBSTER.  Thought I’d like to see it.  Do you think it’s all right?”

“Well,” I said, “ALBERT ROLLIT did tell me something about ATTORNEY-GENERAL going on the Spree.  But that was in Germany, and he had his skates with him.  Don’t know how it’ll be here.  You mustn’t forget that WILFRID’s something of a wag.  Wouldn’t advise you to wait much after eleven o’clock.”