SINNERS

I take unction to myself, sometimes, in the reflection that I have a soul to save, and in certain moments of uplift it seems to me to be worth saving.  Some folks probably call me a sinner, if not a dreadful sinner, and I admit the fact without controversy.  I do not have at hand a list of the cardinal sins, but I suspect I might prove an alibi as to some of them.  I don’t get drunk; I don’t swear; I go to church; and I contribute, mildly, to charity.  But, for all that, I’m free to confess myself a sinner.  Yet, I still don’t know what sin is, or what is the way of salvation either for myself or for my pupils.  I grope around all the while trying to find this way.  At times, I think they may find salvation while they are finding the value of x in an algebraic equation, and possibly this is true.  I cannot tell.  If they fail to find the value of x, I fall to wondering whether they have sinned or the teacher that they cannot find x.

I have attended revivals in my time, and have had good from them.  In their pure and rarefied atmosphere I find myself in a state of exaltation.  But I find myself in need of a continuous revival to keep me at my best.  So, in my school work, I feel that I must be a revivalist or my pupils will sag back, just as I do.  I find that the revival of yesterday will not suffice for to-day.  Like the folks of old, I must gather a fresh supply of manna each day.  Stale manna is not wholesome.  I suspect that one of my many sins is my laziness in the matter of manna.  I found the value of x in the problem yesterday, and so am inclined to rest to-day and celebrate the victory.  If I had to classify myself, I’d say that I am an intermittent.  I eat manna one day, and then want to fast for a day or so.  I suspect that’s what folks mean by a besetting sin.

During my fasting I find myself talking almost fluently about my skill and industry as a gatherer of manna, I suspect I am trying to make myself believe that I’m working in the manna field to-day, by keeping my mind on my achievement yesterday.  That’s another sin to my discredit, and another occasion for a revival.  When I am fasting I do the most talking about how busy I am.  If I were harvesting manna I’d not have time for so much talk.  I should not need to tell how busy I am, for folks could see for themselves.  I have tried to analyze this talk of mine about being so busy just to see whether I am trying to deceive myself or my neighbors.  I fell to talking about this the other day to my neighbor John, and detected a faint smile on his face which I interpreted to be a query as to what I have to show for all my supposed industry.  Well, I changed the subject.  That smile on John’s face made me think of revivals.