Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, December 27, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 41 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, December 27, 1890.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, December 27, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 41 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, December 27, 1890.

He would have added more, but a sudden pallor stole over his complexion, and he reeled towards a chair.

In an instant the bright girl was on her knees at his side.  “Dear Grandfather, you are faint!” she cried, an expression of alarm suffusing her beautiful features.

The Duke pointed to a small table—­“My Liquid Pork!” he gasped.  “Ah! of course!” was her quick response, as she bounded across the room, and returned with an eleven-and-sixpenny bottle of “BOLKIN’s Liquid Pork, or, the Emaciated Invalid’s Hog-wash”—­a stimulating, flesh-creating, life-sustaining food; sold in bottles at 1s. 11/2d., 2s. 9d., 5s. 7d., and 11s. 6d.,—­of which she quickly poured out half a tumbler, and raised it to the quivering lips of the staggering old nobleman by her side.  “How foolish of me not to have thought of this before!” she continued, replenishing the glass, which he emptied in feverish haste.

“I save threepence-halfpenny in a sovereign,” he went on, a wicked twinkle kindling in his eye as he spoke, “by taking the eleven-and-sixpenny size—­and that is a consideration, my dear.  If you don’t think so now, with all your young life before you, you will when you come to be my age!”

[Illustration]

He sank back in his arm-chair as he spoke, apparently about to deliver himself to the calm delights of a retrospective reverie.  But he was not destined to enjoy it.  At that moment a whiff of stifling smoke, quite choking in its intensity, forced itself under the door.  In another moment the matter was soon explained.  With a wild rush the butler burst into the room.

“Fly, your Grace, for your life!” he cried; “the place is on fire!”

A blaze of flame that followed the terrified menial into the room, only too truly corroborated his statement.  In a another moment the fire had seized hold of the new furniture, and in greedy fury, as if it were some demon spirit, licked the walls with great tongues of flame.

“In the cupboard, my dear,” said the Duke, the proud blood of his race coming to his aid in a perfect and commanding coolness in the face of the terrible danger that faced him, “you will find three cans of JOBSON’s Patent Fire Annihilating Essence.  It is advertised as infallible.  Give one to the butler, take one yourself, and give the third to me.  This appears to be a good opportunity for testing its efficacy.”

The quick bright girl instantly obeyed his injunction.  The cans were distributed, and opened.  A colourless gas was liberated.  In a few seconds the flames were entirely quenched.

“Ah!” said the old Duke, flinging himself back into his armchair with a sigh of relief.  “And now, ANGELICA, my dear, you can tell me why you came to see me!”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A FAIR WARNING.

“DADDY, I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME FIVE SHILLINGS A WEEK POCKET-MONEY!”

“I COULDN’T DO IT, MY LITTLE CHAP.  IT’S TOO MUCH!”

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, December 27, 1890 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.