of a species of universality is admitted.  And besides, that would divert me from my cherished ideas.  No; I will draw as close as possible to the centre which is philosophy, theology, science, literature, etc., which is, as I believe, God.  I think it probable, therefore, that I shall fix my attention upon literature, in order that I may graduate in philosophy.  All this, as you may fancy, is very colourless in my view, and the bent of the university spirit is the reverse of sympathetic to me.  But one must be something, and I have had to try and be that which differs the least from my ideal type.  And besides, who can tell if I may not some day succeed thereby in bringing my ideas to light?  So many unexpected things happen which upset all calculations.  One must be prepared therefore, for every eventuality, and be ready to unfurl one’s sail at the first capful of wind.

I must tell you also of an intellectual matter which has helped to sustain and comfort me in these trying moments:  I refer to my relations with M. Dupanloup.  I began by writing him a letter describing my inward state and the steps which I deemed it necessary to take in consequence.  He quite appreciated my course, and we afterwards had a conversation of an hour and a half in the course of which I laid bare, for the first time to one of my fellow-men my inmost ideas and my doubts with regard to the Catholic faith.  I confess that I never met one more gifted; for he was possessed of true philosophy and of a really superior intelligence.  It was only then that I learnt thoroughly to know him.  We did not go thoroughly into the question.  I merely explained the nature of my doubts, and he informed me of the judgment which from the orthodox point of view he would feel it his duty to pass upon them.  He was very severe and plainly told me,[1] “that it was not a question of temptations against the faith—­a term which I had employed in my letter by force of the habit I had acquired of following the terminology adopted at St. Sulpice, but of a complete loss of faith:  secondly, that I was beyond the pale of the Church; thirdly, that in consequence I could not partake of any sacrament, and that he advised me not to take part in any outward religious ceremony; fourthly, that I could not without being guilty of deception, continue another day to pass as an ecclesiastic, and so forth.”  In all that did not relate to the appreciation of my condition, he was as kind as any one possibly could be.  The priests of St. Sulpice and M. Gratry were not nearly so emphatic in their views and held that I must still regard myself as tempted....  I obeyed M. Dupanloup, and I shall always do so henceforth.  Still, I continue to confess, and as I have no longer M. B——­ I confess to M. Le Hir, to whom I am devotedly attached.  I find that this improves and consoles me very much.  I shall confess to you when you are ordained a priest.  However, out of condescension, as he said, for the