Secretary bought stock at par for the Jerome Company of some former owners in the Terry & Barnum Company, in Bridgeport, only a short time before the failure.  To show the confidence the Secretary had in the standing of the Company, he recommended one of his own brothers, not more than one month before the Company failed, to buy five thousand dollars worth of the stock, which he did.  It was owned by a Bridgeport man and he paid par value for it in good gold and silver watches at cash prices.  All of these transactions were made without my knowledge, and I have found them out by piece-meal ever since.  I do fully believe that if the Secretary had been worth half a million of dollars, he would have sacrificed every dollar, rather than have had the Company failed under his management as it did.

It has been publicly stated that Mr. Barnum endorsed largely on blank notes and drafts and that he was thus rendered responsible to a far greater extent than he was aware of; such, however, was not the case.

The troubles that have grown out of the failure of this great business, have left me poor and broken down in spirit, constitution and health.  I was never designed by Providence to eat the bread of dependence, for it is like poison to me, and will surely kill me in a short time.  I have now lost more than forty pounds of flesh, though my ambition has not yet died within me.

CHAPTER XI.

EFFECTS OF THE FAILURE ON MYSELF—­REMOVAL TO WATERBURY AND ANSONIA—­ UNFORTUNATE BUSINESS CONNECTIONS.

After saying so much as I have about my misfortunes in life, I must say a few words about what has happened and what I have been through with during the last four years.

When the Jerome Manufacturing Company failed, every dollar that I had saved out of a long life of toil and labor was not enough to support my family for one year.  It was hard indeed for a man sixty-three years old, and my heart sickened at the prospect ahead.  Perhaps there never was a man that wanted more than I did to be in business and be somebody by the side of my neighbors.  There never was a man more grieved than I was when I had to give up those splendid factories with the great facilities they had over all others in the world for the manufacture of clocks both good and cheap, all of which had been effected through my untiring efforts.  No one but myself can know what my feelings were when I was compelled, through no fault of my own, to leave that splendid clustre [sic] of buildings with all its machinery, and its thousands of good customers all over this country and Europe, and in fact the whole world, which in itself was a fortune.  And then to leave that beautiful mansion at the head of the New Haven bay, which I had almost worshipped.  I say to leave all these things for others, with that spirit and pride that still remained within me, and at my time of life, was almost too much for flesh and blood to bear.