CULVER.  Good heavens, my gifted child!  No enlightened and patriotic person wants the Government to fall.  All enlightened and patriotic persons want the Government to be afraid of falling.  There you have the whole of war politics in a nut-shell.  If the British Government fell the effect on the Allied cause would be bad, and might be extremely bad.  But that’s not the real explanation.  The real explanation is that no one wants the Government to fall because no one wants to step into the Government’s shoes.  However, thanks to Tranto’s masterly presence of mind in afflicting Sampson with a disease that kills like prussic acid, the Government can no longer give Sampson a title, and the danger to the Government is therefore over.

TRANTO.  Over!  I wish it was!  Supposing the Government doesn’t happen to see my late extra in time!  Supposing the offer of a baronetcy to Sampson Straight goes forth!  The mischief will be done.  Worst of all, supposing the only genuine Sampson Straight hears of it and accepts it!  A baronetcy given to a bigamist!  No Government could possibly survive the exposure.

MRS. CULVER.  Not even if its survival was necessary to the success of the Allied cause?

CULVER (gloomily, shaking his head).  My dear, Tranto is right.  This great country has always insisted first of all, and before anything else whatever, on the unsullied purity of the domestic life of its public men.  Let a baronetcy be given, or even offered, to a bigamist—­and this great country would not hesitate for one second, not one second.

TRANTO.  The danger still exists.  And only one man in this world can avert it.

CULVER.  You don’t mean me, Tranto?

TRANTO.  I understand that you have neither accepted nor refused the offer.  You must accept it instantly.  Instantly.

(A silence.  John begins to creep towards the door, back, and Hildegarde towards the door, L.)

MRS. CULVER (firmly).  John, where are you going?

JOHN.  Anywhere.

MRS. CULVER.  Have you still got that letter to Lord Woking in which your father accepts the title?

JOHN.  Yes.

MRS. CULVER.  Come here.  Let me see it. (She inspects the envelope of the letter and returns it to John.) Yes, that’s right.  Now listen to me.  Get a taxi at once and drive to Lord Woking’s, and insist on seeing Lord Woking, and give him that letter with your own hand.  Do you understand? (Exit Hildegarde, L.) The stamp will be wasted, but never mind.  Fly!

JOHN.  It’s a damned shame. (Mrs. Culver smiles calmly.)

CULVER (shaking John’s flaccid hand).  So it is.  But let us remember, my boy, that you and I are—­are doing our bit. (Pushes him violently towards the door.) Get along. (Exit John, back.)

TRANTO (looking round).  Where’s Hildegarde?