CULVER.  Ah!

STRAIGHT.  The fact is, business of the utmost importance.  Perhaps I may be able to interest you in it.

CULVER.  Now we’re getting hotter.

STRAIGHT.  Hotter?

CULVER.  Go on, go on, Mr. Straight.

STRAIGHT.  To tell you the truth—­

CULVER.  Always a wise thing to do.

STRAIGHT.  One of my reasons for accepting your son’s kind invitation was that I thought that conceivably you might be willing to help in a great patriotic scheme of mine.  Naturally you show surprise.

CULVER.  Do I?  Then I’m expressing myself badly.  I’m not in the least surprised.  It is the contrary that would have surprised me.

STRAIGHT.  We may possibly discuss it later.

CULVER.  Later?  Why later?  Why not at once?  I’m full of curiosity.  I hate to let the grass grow under my feet.

STRAIGHT (looking at the floor).  Grass? (With a faint mechanical laugh.) Ah yes, I see.  Figure of speech.  Well, I’m starting a little limited liability syndicate.

CULVER.  Precisely what I thought.  Yes?

STRAIGHT.  The End-the-war Syndicate.

JOHN (approaching).  But surely you aren’t one of those pacifists, Mr.
Straight!  You’ve always preached fighting it out to a finish.

STRAIGHT.  The object of my syndicate is certainly to fight to a finish, but to finish in about a week—­by means of my little syndicate.

CULVER.  Splendid!  But there is one draw-back.  New capital issues are forbidden under the Defence of the Realm Act.

STRAIGHT.  Even when the object is to win the war?

CULVER.  My dear sir, the Treasury would never permit such a thing.

STRAIGHT.  Well, we needn’t have a limited company.  Perhaps after all it would be better to keep it quite private.

CULVER.  Oh!  It would.  And what is the central idea of this charming syndicate?

STRAIGHT.  The idea is—­(looking round cautiously)—­a new explosive.

CULVER.  Again, precisely what I thought.  Your own invention?

STRAIGHT.  No.  A friend of mine.  It truly is the most marvellous explosive.

CULVER.  I suppose it bangs everything.

STRAIGHT (simply).  Oh, it does.  A development of trinitrotoluol on new lines.  I needn’t say that my interest in the affair is purely patriotic.

CULVER.  Of course.  Of course.

STRAIGHT.  I can easily get all the capital I need.

CULVER.  Of course.  Of course.

STRAIGHT.  But I’m not in close touch with the official world, and in a matter of this kind official influence is absolutely essential to success.  Now you are in touch with the official world.  I shouldn’t ask you to subscribe, though if you cared to do so there would be no objection.  And I may say that the syndicate can’t help making a tremendous lot of money.  When I tell you that the new explosive is forty-seven times as powerful as trinitrotoluol itself—­