Averring the no coins were silver dollars. 
  Thus, through the ages, each presuming quack
  Turns the poor corpse upon its rotten back,
  Holds a new “autopsy” and finds that death
  Resulted partly from the want of breath,
  But chiefly from some visitation sad
  That points his argument or serves his fad. 
  They’re all in error—­never human mind
  The cause of the disaster has divined. 
  What slew the Roman power?  Well, provided
  You’ll keep the secret, I will tell you.  I did.

  THE HERMIT.

  To a hunter from the city,
    Overtaken by the night,
  Spake, in tones of tender pity
    For himself, an aged wight: 

  “I have found the world a fountain
    Of deceit and Life a sham. 
  I have taken to the mountain
    And a Holy Hermit am.

  “Sternly bent on Contemplation,
    Far apart from human kind——­
  In the hill my habitation,
    In the Infinite my mind.

  “Ten long years I’ve lived a dumb thing,
    Growing bald and bent with dole. 
  Vainly seeking for a Something
    To engage my gloomy soul.

  “Gentle Pilgrim, while my roots you
    Eat, and quaff my simple drink,
  Please suggest whatever suits you
    As a Theme for me to Think.”

  Then the hunter answered gravely: 
    “From distraction free, and strife,
  You could ponder very bravely
    On the Vanity of Life.”

  “O, thou wise and learned Teacher,
    You have solved the Problem well—­
  You have saved a grateful creature
    From the agonies of hell.

  “Take another root, another
    Cup of water:  eat and drink. 
  Now I have a Subject, brother,
    Tell me What, and How, to think.”

  TO A CRITIC OF TENNYSON.

  Affronting fool, subdue your transient light;
  When Wisdom’s dull dares Folly to be bright: 
  If Genius stumble in the path to fame,
  ’Tis decency in dunces to go lame.

  THE YEARLY LIE.

  A merry Christmas?  Prudent, as I live!—­
  You wish me something that you need not give.

  Merry or sad, what does it signify? 
  To you ’t is equal if I laugh, or die.

  Your hollow greeting, like a parrot’s jest,
  Finds all its meaning in the ear addressed.

  Why “merry” Christmas?  Faith, I’d rather frown
  Than grin and caper like a tickled clown.

  When fools are merry the judicious weep;
  The wise are happy only when asleep.

  A present?  Pray you give it to disarm
  A man more powerful to do you harm.

  ’T was not your motive?  Well, I cannot let
  You pay for favors that you’ll never get.

  Perish the savage custom of the gift,
  Founded in terror and maintained in thrift!

  What men of honor need to aid their weal
  They purchase, or, occasion serving, steal.