Another apprehension I had, was, of the cruel usage we should meet with from them, if we fell into their hands:  then the story of Amboyna came into my head, and how the Dutch might, perhaps, torture us, as they did our countrymen there; and make some of our men, by extremity of torture, confess those crimes they never were guilty of; own themselves, and all of us, to be pirates; and so they would put us to death, with a formal appearance of justice; and that they might be tempted to do this for the gain of our ship and cargo, which was worth four or five thousand pounds, put all together.

These things tormented me, and my partner too, night and day; nor did we consider that the captains of ships have no authority to act thus; and if we had surrendered prisoners to them, they could not answer the destroying us, or torturing us, but would be accountable for it when they came into their own country.  This, I say, gave me no satisfaction; for, if they will act thus with us, what advantage would it be to us that they would be called to an account for it? or, if we were first to be murdered, what satisfaction would it be to us to have them punished when they came home?

I cannot refrain taking notice here what reflections I now had upon the past variety of my particular circumstances; how hard I thought it was, that I, who had spent forty years in a life of continued difficulties, and was at last come, as it were, at the port or haven which all men drive at, viz. to have rest and plenty, should be a volunteer in new sorrows, by my own unhappy choice; and that I, who had escaped so many dangers in my youth, should now come to be hanged, in my old age, and in so remote a place, for a crime I was not in the least inclined to, much less guilty of; and in a place and circumstance, where innocence was not like to be any protection at all to me.

After these thoughts, something of religion would come in; and I would be considering that this seemed to me to be a disposition of immediate Providence; and I ought to look upon it, and submit to it as such:  that although I was innocent as to men, I was far from being innocent as to my Maker; and I ought to look in, and examine what other crimes in my life were most obvious to me, and for which Providence might justly inflict this punishment as a retribution; and that I ought to submit to this, just as I would to a shipwreck, if it had pleased God to have brought such a disaster upon me.

In its turn, natural courage would sometimes take its place; and then I would be talking myself up to vigorous resolution, that I would not be taken to be barbarously used by a parcel of merciless wretches in cold blood; that it was much better to have fallen into the hands of the savages, who were men-eaters, and who, I was sure, would feast upon me, when they had taken me, than by those who would perhaps glut their rage upon me by inhuman tortures and barbarities:  that, in the case of the savages, I always resolved