The principal warrior in our community is General Trumps, the commander of the militia of the district.  The general has seen service in the South and West, and is a pretty good soldier.  In these happy days of peace, however, he does not often have an opportunity to display his fighting qualities, but sometimes even now, when he is provoked to wrath, he becomes bloodthirsty and ferocious.  Last summer the general went to Cape May.  Previous to his arrival two young men, whom I will call Brown and Jones, occupied adjoining rooms at a certain hotel.  One day Brown fixed a string to the covers on Jones’ bed and ran the cord through the door into his own room.  His purpose was to pull the covers off as soon as Jones got comfortably fixed for the night.  But that afternoon General Trumps came down; and as the hotel was crowded, the landlord put Jones in the room with Brown and gave Jones’ apartment to the general.  Brown forgot about the string, and he and Jones went to bed.  About midnight Jones’ dog, while prowling around the room, got the string tangled about his leg, and in struggling to reach the window he slowly dragged the bed-clothes off of the soldier, next door.  That gentleman awoke, and after scolding his wife for removing the blankets went to sleep again.  Presently Jones’ dog saw a rat and darted after it.  Off came the covers again.  Then the man of war was angry.  He roused his wife and scolded her vigorously.  She protested her innocence, and while she was speaking Jones’ dog heard another dog outside, and hurried to the window to bark.  The covers were again removed.  Then the general fumbled about until he found the cord.  Then he loaded up his revolver, drew his sword and dared Jones and Brown to open their door and come out into the entry.  They peeped at him over the transom, observed his warlike preparations, glanced at the string and the dog, packed their carpet-bags, slid down the water-spout outside, and went home in the five-o’clock train.  The manner in which that battle-scarred veteran roared around the hotel during the day was said to have been frightful; and when rumors came that Brown and Jones had gone to another place in the neighborhood, he spent the day hunting for them with a purpose to commit violence.  He gradually became calmer, and as his anger subsided the humorous aspect of the matter appeared, and he felt rather glad that he had not encountered the two young men.

[Illustration:  THE GENERAL IN A RAGE]

Several years ago the general was out upon the plains fighting the Indians.  One of the men who accompanied his command was a Major Bing.  It happened that the major was captured by the savages, and it devolved upon the general to bear the melancholy tidings to Mrs. Bing.  It appears that while the general was on his way home Mrs. Bing moved into another house; and when the general returned with the sad intelligence, he did not know of the fact, but went to the old house, which was now occupied by Mrs. Wood.  He told the servant-girl to tell her mistress to come into the parlor, and then he took a seat on the sofa and thought how he could break the news of the major’s death to her so as not to give her too violent a shock.  When Mrs. Wood entered, the general greeted her mournfully; and when they had taken seats, the following conversation ensued: