“TANGO RAPIDLY DYING. 
  DANCE UPHELD BY MR. MAX PEMBERTON.”
      Daily Chronicle.

This is the sort of thing that the Revue King has to put up with.  Truly the lot of royalty is not an enviable one.

* * * * *

From an advertisement of Tango matinees in The Lyceum:—­

“RESERVED TAUTENILS (4 first rows) 10/—­
TAUTENILS (tea included)           7/6
TAUTENILS (tea not included)       6/—­”

Gourmet (planking down his seven-and-six).  “Tea and tautenils, please.”

* * * * *

Seen on a Liverpool hoarding:—­

    “Quo Vadis:  Whither goest thou in eight reels?”

    Answer.  “Anywhere in reason, but not home.”

* * * * *

IN THE GARDEN OF ALLAH.

  Weary of the struggle and the squalors
    Which beset the politician’s life—­
  Work that for a modicum of dollars
    Brings a whole infinity of strife—­
  Three of England’s most illustrious cronies
    Started on a winter holiday,
  With no thought of MURRAY or Marconis—­
    GEORGE and HENRY and the great TAY PAY.

  Never since AENEAS and his raiders
    Stayed with DIDO in the days of yore
  Did such irresistible invaders
    Land upon the Carthaginian shore. 
  GEORGE, of course, the largest crowds attended,
    But I’m told the kind Algerians say
  That AENEAS wasn’t half so splendid
    Or so pious as the good TAY PAY.

  Noble sheikhs and black and bearded Bashas
    Bowed, whene’er they met them, to the ground;
  Festas and fantasias and tamashas
    Followed in a never-ending round. 
  GEORGE no more on his detractors brooded;
    HENRY simply sang the livelong day;
  While unmixed benevolence exuded
    From the loving heart of kind TAY PAY.

  Side by side they read the works of HICHENS;
    Hand in hand they sampled the bazaars;
  Ate the sweetmeats cooked in native kitchens;
    Flew about in sumptuous motor-cars;
  Golfed where once great HANNIBAL was scheming;
    Joked where luckless DIDO once held sway;
  For the finest jokes were always streaming
    From the lips of comical TAY PAY.

  Other days they spent in caracoling,
    Mounted each upon a mettled barb,
  Or along the streets serenely strolling
    Clad in semi-oriental garb;
  HENRY with a cummerbund suburban;
    GEORGE disguised to look like ENVER BEY;
  While a kilt surmounted by a turban
    Veiled the massive contours of TAY PAY.

  Daily they partook of ripe and juicy
    Fruit, and Mocha coffee and kibobs;
  Daily they conversed with EL SENOUSSI
    And a lot of other native nobs;
  HENRY practised Algerine fandangos;
    GEORGE upon the tom-tom learned to play;
  And a dervish taught ten Arab tangos
    To the light fantastical TAY PAY.