was in the river, leaping along with the other souls
in such an ecstasy of physical delight as I have never
felt before or since. Such, at least, was my
first impression; but gradually it changed into something
which I despair of rendering in words, for indeed I
can hardly render it in my own thoughts. Conceive,
however, that as, according to the teaching of science,
every part of matter is affected by every other, insomuch
that, as they say, the fall of an apple disturbs the
balance of the universe; so, in my experience then,
(and this, I believe, is really true) all souls were
intimately connected by spiritual ties. Nothing
that happened in one but was somehow or other, more
or less obscurely, reflected in the rest, so that all
were so closely involved and embraced in a network
of fine relations that they formed what may be compared
to a planetary system, sustained in their various
orbits by force of attraction and repulsion, distinguished
into greater and lesser constellations, and fulfilling
in due proportion their periods and paths under the
control of spiritual laws. Of this system I was
myself a member; about me were grouped some of my
dearest friends; and beyond and around stretched away,
like infinite points of light, in a clear heaven of
passion, the world of souls. I speak, of course,
in a figure, for what I am describing in terms of
space, I apprehended through the medium of feeling;
and by ‘feeling’ I mean all degrees of
affection, from extreme of love to extreme of hate.
For hate there was, as well as love, the one representing
repulsion, the other attraction; and by their joint
influence the whole system was sustained. It was
not, however, in equilibrium; at least, not in stable
equilibrium. There was a trend, as I soon became
aware, towards a centre. The energy of love was
constantly striving to annihilate distance and unite
in a single sphere the scattered units that were only
kept apart by the energy of hate. This effort
I felt proceeding in every particular group, and,
more faintly, from one group to another: I felt
it with an intensity at once of pain and of rapture,
such as I cannot now even imagine, much less describe;
and most of all did I feel it within the limits of
my own group, of which some of those now present were
members. But within this group in particular I
was aware of an extraordinary resistance. One
of its members, I thought, (I mention no names,) steadily
refused either to form a closer union with the rest
of us, or to enter into more intimate relations with
other groups. This resistance I felt in the form
of an indescribable tension, a tension which grew
more and more acute, till suddenly the whole system
seemed to collapse, and I found myself in darkness
and alone, being dragged down, down, by the cord which
attached me to my body. At the same time there
was a roaring in my ears, and I saw my body, as I
thought, like a fearful wild beast with open jaws;
it swallowed me down, and I awoke with a shock to
find myself in the operator’s room, with a voice
in my ears which somehow sounded like Audubon’s,
though I afterwards ascertained it was really that
of the assistant, uttering the rather ridiculous words,
‘I don’t see why!’


