* * * * *

He left everything to charity, so that nothing should go to his relations and children, whom he hated.

* * * * *

A very amorous man; he is no sooner introduced to a girl than he becomes a he-goat.

* * * * *

A nobleman Drekoliev.

* * * * *

I dread the idea that a chamberlain will be present at the opening of my petition.

* * * * *

He was a rationalist, but he had to confess that he liked the ringing of church bells.

* * * * *

The father a famous general, nice pictures, expensive furniture; he died; the daughters received a good education, but are slovenly, read little, ride, and are dull.

* * * * *

They are honest and truthful so long as it is unnecessary.

* * * * *

A rich merchant would like to have a shower bath in his W.C.

* * * * *

In the early morning they ate okroshka.[1]

[Footnote 1:  A cold dish composed of cider and hash.]

* * * * *

“If you lose this talisman,” said grandmother, “you will die.”  And suddenly I lost it, tortured myself, was afraid that I would die.  And now, imagine, a miracle happened:  I found it and continued to live.

* * * * *

Everybody goes to the theatre to see my play, to learn something instantly from it, to make some sort of profit, and I tell you:  I have not the time to bother about that canaille.

* * * * *

The people hate and despise everything new and useful; when there was cholera, they hated and killed the doctors and they love vodka; by the people’s love or hatred one can estimate the value of what they love or hate.

* * * * *

Looking out of the window at the corpse which is being borne to the cemetery:  “You are dead, you are being carried to the cemetery, and I will go and have my breakfast.”

* * * * *

A Tchech Vtitchka.

* * * * *

A man, forty years old, married a girl of twenty-two who read only the very latest writers, wore green ribbons, slept on yellow pillows, and believed in her taste and her opinions as if they were law; she is nice, not silly, and gentle, but he separates from her.

* * * * *

When one longs for a drink, it seems as though one could drink a whole ocean—­that is faith; but when one begins to drink, one can only drink altogether two glasses—­that is science.

* * * * *