* * * * *

A boy of good family, capricious, full of mischief, obstinate, wore out his whole family.  The father, an official who played the piano, got to hate him, took him into a corner of the garden, flogged him with considerable pleasure, and then felt disgusted with himself.  The son has grown up and is an officer.

* * * * *

N. courted Z. for a long time.  She was very religious, and, when he proposed to her, she put a dried flower, which he had once given to her, into her prayer-book.

* * * * *

Z:  “As you are going to town, post my letter in the letter-box.”

N:  (alarmed) “Where?  I don’t know where the letter-box is.”

Z:  “Will you also call at the chemist’s and get me some naphthaline?”

N:  (alarmed) “I’ll forget the naphthaline, I’ll forget.”

* * * * *

A storm at sea.  Lawyers ought to regard it as a crime.

* * * * *

X. went to stay with his friend in the country.  The place was magnificent, but the servants treated him badly, he was uncomfortable, although his friend considered him a big man.  The bed was hard, he was not provided with a night shirt and he felt ashamed to ask for one.

* * * * *

At a rehearsal.  The wife: 

“How does that melody in Pagliacci go?  Whistle it.”

“One must not whistle on the stage; the stage is a temple.”

* * * * *

He died from fear of cholera.

* * * * *

As like as a nail is to a requiem.

* * * * *

A conversation on another planet about the earth a thousand years hence.  “Do you remember that white tree?”

* * * * *

Anakhthema!

* * * * *

Zigzagovsky, Oslizin, Svintchulka, Derbaliguin.

* * * * *

A woman with money, the money hidden everywhere, in her bosom and between her legs....

* * * * *

All that procedure.

* * * * *

Treat your dismissal as you would an atmospheric phenomenon.

* * * * *

A conversation at a conference of doctors.  First doctor:  “All diseases can be cured by salt.”  Second doctor, military:  “Every disease can be cured by prescribing no salt.”  The first points to his wife, the second to his daughter.

* * * * *

The mother has ideals, the father too; they delivered lectures; they built schools, museums, etc.  They grow rich.  And their children are most ordinary; spend money, gamble on the Stock Exchange.