“I’d like to get off here,” he drawled, “if you fellows don’t mind taking your hands out of my pocket.”

SUCCESS

Nothing succeeds like excess.—­Life.

Nothing succeeds like looking successful.—­Henriette Corkland.

Success in life often consists in knowing just when to disagree with one’s employer.

A New Orleans lawyer was asked to address the boys of a business school.  He commenced: 

“My young friends, as I approached the entrance to this room I noticed on the panel of the door a word eminently appropriate to an institution of this kind.  It expresses the one thing most useful to the average man when he steps into the arena of life.  It was—­”

“Pull,” shouted the boys, in a roar of laughter, and the lawyer felt that he had taken his text from the wrong side of the door.

  I’d rather be a Could Be
    If I could not be an Are;
  For a Could Be is a May Be,
    With a chance of touching par. 
  I’d rather be a Has Been
    Than a Might Have Been, by far;
  For a Might Have Been has never been,
    But a Has was once an Are.

  ’Tis not in mortals to command success,
  But we’ll do more, Sempronius,—­
  We’ll deserve it.

  —­Addison.

There are two ways of rising in the world:  either by one’s own industry or profiting by the foolishness of others.—­La Bruyere.

  Success is counted sweetest
  By those who ne’er succeed.

  —­Emily Dickinson.

See also Making good.

SUFFRAGETTES

When a married woman goes out to look after her rights, her husband is usually left at home to look after his wrongs.—­Child Harold.

“’Ullo, Bill, ’ow’s things with yer?”

“Lookin’ up, Tom, lookin’ up.”

“Igh cost o’ livin’ not ‘ittin’ yer, Bill?”

“Not so ’ard, Tom—­not so ’ard.  The missus ’as went ’orf on a hunger stroike and me butcher’s bills is cut in arf!”

I’d hate t’ be married t’ a suffragette an’ have t’ eat Battle Creek breakfasts.—­Abe Martin.

FIRST ENGLISHMAN—­“Why do you allow your wife to be a militant suffragette?”

SECOND ENGLISHMAN—­“When she’s busy wrecking things outside we have comparative peace at home.”—­Life.

Recipe for a suffragette: 

  To the power that already lies in her hands
    You add equal rights with the gents;
  You’ll find votes that used to bring two or three plunks,
    Marked down to ninety-eight cents.

When Mrs. Pankhurst, the English suffragette, was in America she met and became very much attached to Mrs. Lee Preston, a New York woman of singular cleverness of mind and personal attraction.  After the acquaintance had ripened somewhat Mrs. Pankhurst ventured to say: