Let it have continuity.  James Bryce says:  “There is a tendency today to make after-dinner speaking a mere string of anecdotes, most of which may have little to do with the subject or with one another.  Even the best stories lose their charm when they are dragged in by the head and shoulders, having no connection with the allotted theme.  Relevance as well as brevity is the soul of wit.”

Do not grow emotional or sentimental.  American traditions are largely borrowed from England.  We have the Anglo-Saxon reticence.  A parade of emotion in public embarrasses us.  A simple and sincere expression of feeling is often desirable in a toast—­but don’t overdo it.

Avoid trite sayings.  Don’t use quotations that are shopworn, and avoid the set forms for toasts—­“Our sweethearts and wives—­may they never meet,” etc.

Don’t apologise.  Don’t say that you are not prepared; that you speak on very short notice; that you are “no orator as Brutus is.”  Resolve to do your best and let your effort speak for itself.

Avoid irony and satire.  It has already been said that occasions on which toasts are given call for friendliness and good humor.  Yet the temptation to use irony and satire may be strong.  Especially may this be true at political gatherings where there is a chance to grow witty at the expense of rivals.  Irony and satire are keen-edged tools; they have their uses; but they are dangerous.  Pope, who knew how to use them, said: 

    Satire’s my weapon, but I’m too discreet
    To run amuck and tilt at all I meet.

Use personal references sparingly.  A certain amount of good-natured chaffing may be indulged in.  Yet there may be danger in even the most kindly of fun.  One never knows how a jest will be taken.  Once in the early part of his career, Mark Twain, at a New England banquet, grew funny at the expense of Longfellow and Emerson, then in their old age and looked upon almost as divinities.  His joke fell dead, and to the end of his life he suffered humiliation at the recollection.

Be clear.  While you must not draw an obvious moral or explain the point to your jokes, be sure that the point is there and that it is put in such a way that your hearers cannot miss it.  Avoid flights of rhetoric and do not lose your anecdotes in a sea of words.

Avoid didacticism.  Do not try to instruct.  Do not give statistics and figures.  They will not be remembered.  A historical resume of your subject from the beginning of time is not called for; neither are well-known facts about the greatness of your city or state or the prominent person in whose honor you may be speaking.  Do not tell your hearers things they already know.