I begged absolution, told him that I could not possibly satisfy his claim, and sought still to evade and put off the important decision.  He grew warm, and affirmed that I treated him ungenerously and made needless delays.  He even accused me of indifference towards him, and of partiality to another.  Major Sanford, he believed, was the man who robbed him of the affection which he had supposed his due.  He warned me against any intercourse with him, and insisted that I must renounce the society of the one or the other immediately.

He would leave me, he said, this evening, and call to-morrow to know the result of my determination.  It was late before he bade me good night, since which I have written these particulars.  It is now time to lay aside my pen, and deliberate what course to take.

Wednesday evening.—­Last night I closed not my eyes.  I rose this morning with the sun, and went into the garden till breakfast.  My mamma doubtless saw the disorder of my mind, but kindly avoided any inquiry about it.  She was affectionately attentive to me, but said nothing of my particular concerns.  I mentioned not my embarrassment to her.  She had declared herself in favor of Mr. Boyer; therefore I had no expectation that she would advise impartially.  I retired to my chamber, and remained in a kind of revery for more than an hour, when I was roused by the rattling of a carriage at the door.  I hastened to the window, and saw Major Sanford just driving away.  The idea of his having been to converse with my mamma gave me new sensations.  A thousand perplexities occurred to my mind relative to the part most proper for me to act in this critical situation.  All these might have been avoided, had I gone down and inquired into the matter; but this I delayed till dinner.  My mamma then informed me that Major Sanford had been with her, and inquired for me, but that she thought it unnecessary to call me, as she presumed I had no particular business with him.  I knew the motives by which she was actuated, and was vexed at her evasions.  I told her plainly that she would never carry her point in this way; that Thought myself capable of conducting my own affairs, and wished her not to interfere, except by her advice, which I should always listen to and comply with when I could possibly make it consistent with my inclination and interest.  She wept at my undutiful anger, (of which I have severely repented since,) and affectionately replied, that my happiness was the object of her wishes and prayers; conformably to which she felt constrained freely to speak her mind, though it incurred my displeasure.  She then went through again with all the comparative circumstances and merits of the two candidates for my favor, which have perpetually rung in my ears for months.  I shed tears at the idea of my embarrassment; and in this condition Mr. Boyer found us.  He appeared to be affected by my visible disorder, and, without inquiring the cause, endeavored to dissipate it.