Conduct of the Lady on Retiring from her Engagement.

Should this step unhappily be found necessary on the lady’s part, the truth should be spoken, and the reasons frankly given:  there must be no room left for the suspicion of its having originated in caprice or injustice.  The case should be so put that the gentleman himself must see and acknowledge the justice of the painful decision arrived at.  Incompatible habits, ungentlemanly actions, anything tending to diminish that respect for the lover which should be felt for the husband; inconstancy, ill-governed temper—­all which, not to mention other obvious objections—­are to be considered as sufficient reasons for terminating an engagement.  The communication should be made as tenderly as possible:  room may be left in mere venial cases for reformation; but all that is done must be so managed that not the slightest shadow of fickleness or want of faith may rest upon the character of the lady.  It must be remembered, however, that the termination of an engagement by a lady has the privilege of passing unchallenged,—­a lady not being bound to declare any other reason than her will.  Nevertheless she owes it to her own reputation that her decision should rest on a sufficient foundation, and be unmistakably pronounced.

Conduct of the Gentleman on Retiring from his Engagement.

We hardly know how to approach this portion of our subject.  The reasons must be strong indeed that can sufficiently justify a man, placed in the position of an accepted suitor, in severing the ties by which he has bound himself to a lady with the avowed intention of making her his wife.  His reasons for breaking off his engagement must be such as will not merely satisfy his own conscience, but will justify him in the eyes of the world.  If the fault be on the lady’s side, great reserve and delicacy will be observed by any man of honour.  If, on the other hand, the imperative force of circumstances, such as loss of fortune, or some other unexpected calamity to himself, may be the cause, then must the reason be clearly and fully explained, in such a manner as to soothe the painful feelings which such a result must necessarily occasion to the lady and her friends.  It is scarcely necessary to point out the necessity for observing great caution in all that relates to the antecedents of an engagement that has been broken off; especially the return on either side of presents and of all letters that have passed.

This last allusion brings us to the consideration of

Correspondence.

Letter-writing is one great test of ability and cultivation, as respects both sexes.  The imperfections of education may be to some extent concealed or glossed over in conversation, but cannot fail to stand out conspicuously in a letter.  An ill-written letter infallibly betrays the vulgarity and ignorance indicative of a mean social position.