Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, October 18, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 38 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, October 18, 1890.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, October 18, 1890 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 38 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, October 18, 1890.

INCOMPREHENSIBLE!—­At the dinner given by the LORD MAYOR, a few days since, to the representatives of Art and Literature of all nations, a linguist, who is believed to understand seventeen languages, made a speech in the eighteenth!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  OUR COMPATRIOTS ABROAD.

SCENE—­A Table d’hote.

Aristocratic English Lady (full of diplomatic relations).  “A—­CAN YOU TELL ME IF THERE IS A RESIDENT BRITISH MINISTER HERE?”

Scotch Tourist.  “WELL, I’M NOT JUST QUITE SURE—­BUT I’M TOLD THERE’S AN EXCELLENT PRESBYTERIAN SERVICE EVERY SUNDAY!”]

* * * * *

A FAMILY QUESTION.

A SONG FOR THE SITUATION.

AIR—­“THE CHESAPEAKE AND THE SHANNON.”

  MCKINLEY, brave and bold, as the universe is told,
    Brought forth his Tariff Bill so neat and handy, O! 
  And true patriots, everyone thought the business splendid fun,
    With their music playing Yankee-doodle dandy, O! 
      Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy.  O! 
  The patriots came running, and admired MCKINLEY’s cunning,
      In the interests of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!

  The Britisher might blame the new Economic game,
    That only fired the Yankee like neat brandy, O! 
  If J.B. should be stone-broke by MCKINLEY’s master-stroke,
    Tant mieux, my boys, for Yankee-doodle dandy, O! 
      Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy, O! 
  The measure is a lark, it may transfer the British market
      To the able hands of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!

  The fight has scarce begun, and the Yank has seen the fun
    Of the rush of freighted vessels to be handy, O! 
  Just in time for the old duties; they competed, like young beauties
    For the smile of some young roving Royal dandy, O! 
      Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy, O! 
  They knew there’d be a scare if the ships didn’t dodge the Tariff,
      The New Tariff dear to Yankee-doodle dandy, O!

  The Etruria and Zaandam found the business quite a flam,
    The Thingvalla, in good time, was not quite handy, O! 
  Whilst some sugar-laden ships found they’d wholly missed their tips,
    To the merriment of Yankee-doodle dandy, O! 
      Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy, O! 
  Yet the prudent thoughts are giving to the “increased cost of living,”
      Home-expenses burden Yankee-doodle dandy, O!

  Miss COLUMBIA and her “Ma” have a fancy that Pap-pa,
    At raising “worsted-stuffs” has been too handy, O! 
  Fifty per cent. on frocks, upon petticoats and socks,
    Scares the women-folk of Yankee doodle dandy, O! 
      Yankee doodle, Yankee doodle dandy, O! 
  “Taxing the Briti_sher_” may yet create a stir
      In the Home-affairs of Yankee doodle dandy, O!

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, October 18, 1890 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.