On hearing these words, I became a block of withered wood; if any one had cut my body, not a drop of blood would have issued; all the world began to appear dark before my sight; a sigh of despair burst involuntarily from my heart, and the tears flowed from my eyes.  I had at that time no hope from any one except God; driven to utter despair, I ventured to say, “Well, [cruel fair,] reflect a moment, that if to this unfortunate wretch there had been a desire for worldly wealth, he would not have devoted his life and property to you.  Are the acknowledgments due to my services, and my having devoted my life to you, flown all of a sudden from this world, that you have shown such disfavour to a wretch like me?  It is all well; to me life is no longer of any use; to the helpless, half-dead lover there is no resource against the faithlessness of the beloved one.”

On hearing these words, she was greatly offended, and frowning with anger, she exclaimed, “Very fine indeed!  What, thou art my lover!  Has the frog then caught cold? [158] O fool, for one in thy situation to talk thus is an idle fancy; little mouths should not utter big words:  no more—­be silent—­repeat not such presumptuous language; if any other had dared to behave so improperly, I vow to God, I would have ordered his body to be cut in pieces, and given to the kites [of the air]; but what can I do?—­Your services ever come to my recollection.  Thou hadst best now take the road [to thy home;] thy fate had decreed thee food and drink only until now in my house!” I then weeping, said, if it has been written in my destiny that I am not to attain the desires of my heart, but to wander miserably through woods and over mountains, then I have no remedy left.  On hearing these words, she became vexed and said, “These hints and this flattering nonsense are not agreeable to me; go and repeat them to those who are fit to hear them.”  Then getting up in the same angry mood, she returned to her house.  I beseeched her to hear me, but she disregarded what I said.  Having no resource, I likewise left the place, sad and hopeless.

In short, for forty days this same state of things continued.  When I was tired of pacing the lanes of the city, I wandered into the woods, and when I became restless there, I returned to the lanes of the city like a lunatic.  I thought not of nourishment during the day, or sleep at night; like a washerman’s dog, that belongs neither to the house nor the ghat [159] The existence of man depends on eating and drinking; he is the worm of the grain.  Not the least strength remained in my body.  Becoming feeble, I went and lay down under the wall of the same mosque; when one day the eunuch aforementioned came there to say his Friday prayers, and passed near me; I was repeating at the time, slow from weakness, this verse: 

    “Give me strength of mind to bear these pangs of the heart, or
        give me death;
    Whatever may have been written in my destiny, O God! let it come
        soon.”