consistent with our changable nature!  And that we ort to take our Wives on lease, as we does our houses, wiz., for sewen or fourteen years, and that in a great majority of cases they woud both be preshus glad when the end of the lease came!  And he tries werry hard to make me bleeve, tho in course he doesn’t succeed, that in one part of his grate and staggering Country, ewerybody does jest as he likes in these rayther himportant matters, and has jest as many Wives as he can afford to keep, and that the King of that place has about a dozen of ’em!  Ah, if you wants to hear a Teel downright staggerer as nobody carnt posserbly bleeve, don’t “ask the Pleaceman,” but arsk an Amerrycane!

He wanted werry much to go to Brighton, and see our new Grand Metropole Otel opened last Satterday; so I spoke to our most gentlemanly Manager, and he gave him a ticket that took him down first-class, and brort him back, and took him into the Otel, and supplied him with heverythink as art coud wish for, or supply, and as much Shampane as he could posserbly drink—­and, when there ain’t nothink to pay for it, it’s reelly estonishing what a quantity a gennelman can dispose of—­; and the way in which he afterwards told me as he showed his grattitude for what he called a reel first-class heavening’s enjoyment was, to engage a delicious little sweet of apartments for a fortnite, so we shall see him no more for that length of time.  He told me as he had seen all the great Otels of Urope and Amerrykey, but he was obligated to confess, in his own emphatic langwidge, that the Brighton Metropole “licked all creation!” I didn’t quite understand him, but I’ve no doubt it was intended as rayther complimentary.  He rayther staggered me by asking what it cost, but I was reddy with my anser, and boldly said, jest exaoly a quarter of a million.

He told me that, in his own grand country, he was ginerally regarded as a werry truthful man, which, of course, I was pleased to hear, for sum of his statements was that staggering as wood have made me dowt it in a feller-countryman.  For hinstance, he acshally tried to make me bleeve that his Country is about 20 times as big as ours!  Well, in course, common politeness made me pretend to bleeve him, speshally as he’s remarkable liberal to me, as most of his countrymen is, but I coudn’t help thinking as it woud have been wiser of him if he had made his werry long Bow jest a leetle shorter.  He’s a remarkabel fine-looking gennelman, and his manners quite comes up to my description.  Robert.

* * * * *

A lyric for lowestoft.

    [Mr. Henry Irving is studying for his new piece at Lowestoft.]

[Illustration]

  Henry Irving, will the Master feel the fierce and bracing breeze,
  As you wander by the margin of the restless Eastern seas?

  Save the seagull slowly swirling none shall hear the tale of woe,
  Learn how dark the life that ended in the fatal “Kelpie’s Flow.”