means to lead the way. Nous verrons, as RACINE said, on a celebrated occasion.  As for The Imp, I cannot too strongly lay it down that only blue devils are bad for the digestion, and Galloping Queen may gallop farther than or not so far as Miss Ethel.  A miss must be better than a mile to win.  If Theophilus were Formidable, or if Imogene possessed a Grecian Bend, it might be necessary to sound Reveille in Rotten Row, which would certainly be a Marvel.  Not being a roadster, I sometimes like The Field.

The above information ought to be sufficient to guide anybody whose brains are calculated to fill an egg-cup.  All others may go to Earlswood, where they will probably meet Mr. J.

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[Illustration:  “OUR TURN NOW!”

FRANCE AND PORTUGAL (who know the value of Peace and Quiet).  “YOU GIVE GERMAN SOMESING,—­HE GO VAY!  YOU GIVE US SOMESING,—­VE GO VAY!!”]

* * * * *

THE REAL GRIEVANCE OFFICE.

(BEFORE MR. COMMISSIONER PUNCH.)

AN ANGLO-INDIAN GENTLEMAN INTRODUCED.

[Illustration]

The Commissioner.  Well, Sir, What can I do for you?

Anglo-Indian.  I wish respectfully to call your attention, Sir, to our case, which is now before a Parliamentary Committee.  I am an Indian Civil Servant.  I am called a member of the Uncovenanted Service, but I contend that such a term is a misnomer.  Originally the Uncovenanted Service consisted of Natives of India, who were employed, without covenant, to do subordinate official work, under the direction of the Covenanted Civil Service.  The bulk of these persons were overseers and tax-collectors.

The Com. Has there been any alteration of late years?  I see you lay a stress upon originally.

Anglo-In. At this moment there are in the Service, in one department alone—­the Educational—­a Senior Classic, a Second Wrangler, several other Wranglers, and many Fellows of Oxford and Cambridge, who took high honours with their degrees.  The Service now requires great technical knowledge, as it has to deal with Archaeology, Finance, Geological Survey, Public Works, and Telegraphy, and can only be entered by Europeans, who have been selected by nomination, or after competition, either by the Secretary of State for India, or the Government of India.  It is not an Uncovenanted Service, as we now enter it with the prospect of pension; and one of our grievances is, that that prospect has become less favourable through the recent action of our employers.

The Com. Be kind enough to explain.

Anglo-In. Certainly, Sir.  When we entered the Service our pension, after serving thirty years, was stated by the Secretary of State to be L500.  Naturally this was taken to mean gold, but because years ago the Service consisted of Natives, the Government hit upon the plan of paying us in silver, which at the present rate means a loss of L150 in the L500.