J.M.S.

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    Our feminine athletes.

“Wanted, Young Lady, vaults bar.—­Apply personally, Mrs.
-----, Oddfellows’ Arms.”--Provincial Paper.

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[Illustration:  The great renunciation.

President Wilson.  “No!  I don’t think it quite Suits my austere type of
beauty.”

[It is reported that the United States of America have declined to accept a mandate for Constantinople.]]

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[Illustration:  Performing Lion at music-hall, having got loose, finds its way to room occupied by charwoman.

Char.  “NAH, then!  I won’t ’Ave them nasty things in ’Ere.  I can’t abide ’em.”]

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BLANCHE’S letters.

Peace and other complications.

Park Lane.

Dearest Daphne,—­Already everyone’s got peace-strain and what state we shall all be in by the time it’s actually signed I haven’t the dimmest.  People have their own ideas of how they mean to celebrate it, and when they find that other people have the same ideas and mean to do the same things at the same time there are alarums and excursions, and things are said, and quite several people who were dear friends during the War don’t speak now owing to the peace!

Par exemple, marches and processions being so much in the air, I’d planned a lovely Procession of Knitters; two enormous gilt knitting-needles to be carried by the leaders and a banner with “We Knitted our Way to Victory!” and myself on a triumphal car dressed in white silk-knitting.  And then, just as everything was being arranged at our “Knitters’ Peace Procession” committee meetings, I found that Beryl Clarges had stolen my idea and was arranging a “Crochet Peace Procession,” with an immense gilt crochet-hook to be carried in front, and a banner with some nonsense about crochet on it, and herself on a triumphal car dressed in crochet!

I said exactly what I thought before I left off speaking to her.

Then, again, everyone wants to give a dance on peace night.  I’d settled to give a big affair with some perfectly new departures, and all the nicest people I wanted have said, “Sorry, dearest, but I’m giving one myself that night.”  I’ve no patience with the silliness and selfishness of everybody.