In the domain of letters some startling developments are also threatened on similar lines.  Mr. WELLS, always remarkable for his refusal to commit himself to any finality in the formulation of his opinions, has, it is said, decided to devote his talents in future exclusively to the composition of educational works in words of one syllable, and where possible of three letters.  He is also contemplating a revised and simplified edition of his novels, beginning with Mr. Brit Sees It Thro’.  Mr. SHAW’S fresh start will be the greatest surprise of all.  He intends to go to Eton and Oxford, and, as a don, to combat the tide of Socialism at our older Universities.  Mr. BELLOC, it is reported, has re-enlisted in the French Artillery, and Mr. ARNOLD BENNETT has accepted a commission in the Dutch mercantile marine.

The future of Mr. ASQUITH has given rise to a good deal of speculation in the Press, but we are in a position to state that he does not intend to re-enter politics or to resume his practice at the Bar, but has resolved to return to his first love—­journalism.  Sport is the only department in which the ornate and orotund style of which Mr. ASQUITH is a master is still in vogue, and the description of classic events in classical diction will furnish him with a congenial opening for the exercise of his great literary talent.

The rumour that Mr. BALFOUR, on his retirement from the post of Foreign Secretary, will take up the arduous duties of caddie-master at St. Andrew’s is not yet fully confirmed.  Meanwhile he is known to be considering the alternative offer of the secretaryship to the Handel Society.  In this context it is interesting to hear that, according to a Rotterdam agency, Sir EDWARD ELGAR has just completed a series of pieces for the mouth-organ, dedicated to Sir LEO CHIOZZA MONEY, which will, it is hoped, be shortly heard in the luncheon interval at the Coal Commission.

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[Illustration:  “EXCUSE ME, OFFICER, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN ANY PICKPOCKETS ABOUT HERE WITH A HANDKERCHIEF MARKED ’SUSAN’?”]

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A SPORTING CHANCE.

DEAR ALEC,—­Jolly glad to hear you’re coming home.  I beat you after all, though.  I suppose I was looking particularly pivotal when I saw the D.O., because he let me through at once.

    Will you go back to the Governor’s office?

    Yours ever, GARRY NORTON.

DEAR GARRY,—­Haven’t the faintest; but before settling down I’m going to have a week or two, either sailing or fishing, so as to try to shed the army feeling, and I think you’d better come with me.  I’ve saved no end of shekels, and I’m going to give old Cox a run for his money (the bit that’s mine, I mean, that he’s been keeping for me).

    If you can find a likely craft, mop her up for me, old bean,
    and we’ll have a hairy time somewhere on the S.W. coast.