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Author: Heinrich Hoffman
Release Date: April 23, 2004 [EBook #12116]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** Start of this project gutenberg EBOOK Merry tales ***
Produced by Suzanne Shell, Sandra Brown and the Online
Distributed
Proofreading Team.
[Transcriber’s Note: This book was first published in German in 1844, and in English translation in 1848. This edition was not dated. Color illustrations appear on every page, often “playing” with the text.]
MERRY STORIES AND FUNNY PICTURES
Heinrich Hoffman
STRUWWELPETER
Merry Stories and Funny Pictures
When the children have been
good,
That is, be it understood,
Good at meal-times, good at
play,
Good all night and good all
day—
They shall have the pretty
things
Merry Christmas always brings.
Naughty, romping girls and
boys
Tear their clothes and make
a noise,
Spoil their pinafores and
frocks,
And deserve no Christmas-box.
Such as these shall never
look
At this pretty Picture-book.
Shock-headed Peter
Just look at him! there he
stands,
With his nasty hair and hands.
See! his nails are never cut;
They are grimed as black as
soot;
And the sloven, I declare,
Never once has combed his
hair;
Anything to me is sweeter
Than to see Shock-headed Peter.
Here is cruel Frederick, see!
A horrid wicked boy was he;
He caught the flies, poor
little things,
And then tore off their tiny
wings,
He killed the birds, and broke
the chairs,
And threw the kitten down
the stairs;
And oh! far worse than all
beside,
He whipped his Mary, till
she cried.
The trough was full, and faithful
Tray
Came out to drink one sultry
day;
He wagged his tail, and wet
his lip,
When cruel Fred snatched up
a whip,
And whipped poor Tray till
he was sore,
And kicked and whipped him
more and more:
At this, good Tray grew very
red,
And growled, and bit him till
he bled;
Then you should only have
been by,
To see how Fred did scream
and cry!
So Frederick had to go to
bed:
His leg was very sore and
red!
The Doctor came, and shook
his head,
And made a very great to-do,
And gave him nasty physic
too.
But good dog Tray is happy
now;
He has no time to say “Bow-wow!”
He seats himself in Frederick’s
chair
And laughs to see the nice
things there:
The soup he swallows, sup
by sup—
And eats the pies and puddings
up.
The Dreadful Story of Harriet and the Matches
It almost makes me cry to
tell
What foolish Harriet befell.
Mamma and Nurse went out one
day
And left her all alone at
play.
Now, on the table close at
hand,
A box of matches chanced to
stand;
And kind Mamma and Nurse had
told her,
That, if she touched them,
they would scold her.
But Harriet said: “Oh,
what a pity!
For, when they burn, it is
so pretty;
They crackle so, and spit,
and flame:
Mamma, too, often does the
same.”
The pussy-cats heard this,
And they began to hiss,
And stretch their claws,
And raise their paws;
“Me-ow,” they
said, “me-ow, me-o,
You’ll burn to death,
if you do so.”
But Harriet would not take
advice:
She lit a match, it was so
nice!
It crackled so, it burned
so clear—
Exactly like the picture here.
She jumped for joy and ran
about
And was too pleased to put
it out.
The Pussy-cats saw this
And said: “Oh,
naughty, naughty Miss!”
And stretched their claws,
And raised their paws:
“’Tis very, very
wrong, you know,
Me-ow, me-o, me-ow, me-o,
You will be burnt, if you
do so.”
And see! oh, what dreadful
thing!
The fire has caught her apron-string;
Her apron burns, her arms,
her hair—
She burns all over everywhere.
Then how the pussy-cats did
mew—
What else, poor pussies, could
they do?
They screamed for help, ’twas
all in vain!
So then they said: “We’ll
scream again;
Make haste, make haste, me-ow,
me-o,
She’ll burn to death;
we told her so.”
So she was burnt, with all
her clothes,
And arms, and hands, and eyes,
and nose;
Till she had nothing more
to lose
Except her little scarlet
shoes;
And nothing else but these
was found
Among her ashes on the ground.
And when the good cats sat
beside
The smoking ashes, how they
cried!
“Me-ow, me-oo, me-ow,
me-oo,
What will Mamma and Nursey
do?”
Their tears ran down their
cheeks so fast,
They made a little pond at
last.
As he had often done before,
The woolly-headed Black-a-moor
One nice fine summer’s
day went out
To see the shops, and walk
about;
And, as he found it hot, poor
fellow,
He took with him his green
umbrella,
Then Edward, little noisy
Now tall Agrippa lived close
by—
So tall, he almost touched
the sky;
He had a mighty inkstand,
too,
In which a great goose-feather
grew;
He called out in an angry
tone
“Boys, leave the Black-a-moor
alone!
For, if he tries with all
his might,
He cannot change from black
to white.”
But, ah! they did not mind
a bit
What great Agrippa said of
it;
But went on laughing, as before,
And hooting at the Black-a-moor.
Then great Agrippa foams with
rage—
Look at him on this very page!
He seizes Arthur, seizes Ned,
Takes William by his little
head;
And they may scream and kick
and call,
Into the ink he dips them
all;
Into the inkstand, one, two,
three,
Till they are black as black
can be;
Turn over now, and you shall
see.
See, there they are, and there
they run!
The Black-a-moor enjoys the
fun.
They have been made as black
as crows,
Quite black all over, eyes
and nose,
And legs, and arms, and heads,
and toes,
And trousers, pinafores, and
toys—
The silly little inky boys!
Because they set up such a
roar,
And teased the harmless Black-a-moor.
The Story of the Man that went out Shooting
This is the man that shoots
the hares;
This is the coat he always
wears:
With game-bag, powder-horn,
and gun
He’s going out to have
some fun.
He finds it hard, without
a pair
Of spectacles, to shoot the
hare.
The hare sits snug in leaves
and grass,
And laughs to see the green
man pass.
Now, as the sun grew very
hot,
And he a heavy gun had got,
He lay down underneath a tree
And went to sleep, as you
may see.
And, while he slept like any
top,
The little hare came, hop,
hop, hop,
Took gun and spectacles, and
then
On her hind legs went off
again.
The green man wakes and sees
her place
The spectacles upon her face;
And now she’s trying
all she can
To shoot the sleepy, green-coat
man.
He cries and screams and runs
away;
The hare runs after him all
day
And hears him call out everywhere:
“Help! Fire!
Help! The Hare! The Hare!”
At last he stumbled at the
well,
Head over ears, and in he
fell.
The hare stopped short, took
aim and, hark!
Bang went the gun—she
missed her mark!
The poor man’s wife
was drinking up
Her coffee in her coffee-cup;
The gun shot cup and saucer
through;
“Oh dear!” cried
she; “what shall I do?”
There lived close by the cottage
there
The hare’s own child,
the little hare;
And while she stood upon her
toes,
The coffee fell and burned
her nose.
“Oh dear!” she
cried, with spoon in hand,
“Such fun I do not understand.”
One day Mamma said “Conrad
dear,
I must go out and leave you
here.
But mind now, Conrad, what
I say,
Don’t suck your thumb
while I’m away.
The great tall tailor always
comes
To little boys who suck their
thumbs;
And ere they dream what he’s
about,
He takes his great sharp scissors
out,
And cuts their thumbs clean
off—and then,
You know, they never grow
again.”
Mamma had scarcely turned
her back,
The thumb was in, Alack!
Alack!
The door flew open, in he
ran,
The great, long, red-legged
scissor-man.
Oh! children, see! the tailor’s
come
And caught out little Suck-a-Thumb.
Snip! Snap! Snip!
the scissors go;
And Conrad cries out “Oh!
Oh! Oh!”
Snip! Snap! Snip!
They go so fast,
That both his thumbs are off
at last.
Mamma comes home: there
Conrad stands,
And looks quite sad, and shows
his hands;
“Ah!” said Mamma,
“I knew he’d come
To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb.”
The Story of Augustus who would not have any Soup
Augustus was a chubby lad;
Fat ruddy cheeks Augustus
had:
And everybody saw with joy
The plump and hearty, healthy
boy.
He ate and drank as he was
told,
And never let his soup get
cold.
But one day, one cold winter’s
day,
He screamed out “Take
the soup away!
O take the nasty soup away!
I won’t have any soup
today.”
Next day, now look, the picture
shows
How lank and lean Augustus
grows!
Yet, though he feels so weak
and ill,
The naughty fellow cries out
still
“Not any soup for me,
I say:
O take the nasty soup away!
I won’t have
any soup today.”
The third day comes:
Oh what a sin!
To make himself so pale and
thin.
Yet, when the soup is put
on table,
He screams, as loud as he
is able,
“Not any soup for me,
I say:
O take the nasty soup away!
I won’t have any
soup today.”
Look at him, now the fourth
day’s come!
He scarcely weighs a sugar-plum;
He’s like a little bit
of thread,
And, on the fifth day, he
was—dead!
“Let me see if Philip
can
Be a little gentleman;
Let me see if he is able
To sit still for once at table”:
Thus Papa bade Phil behave;
And Mamma looked very grave.
But fidgety Phil,
He won’t sit still;
He wriggles,
And giggles,
And then, I declare,
Swings backwards and forwards,
And tilts up his chair,
Just like any rocking horse—
“Philip! I am getting
cross!”
See the naughty, restless
child
Growing still more rude and
wild,
Till his chair falls over
quite.
Philip screams with all his
might,
Catches at the cloth, but
then
That makes matters worse again.
Down upon the ground they
fall,
Glasses, plates, knives, forks,
and all.
How Mamma did fret and frown,
When she saw them tumbling
down!
And Papa made such a face!
Philip is in sad disgrace.
Where is Philip, where is
he?
Fairly covered up you see!
Cloth and all are lying on
him;
He has pulled down all upon
him.
What a terrible to-do!
Dishes, glasses, snapt in
two!
Here a knife, and there a
fork!
Philip, this is cruel work.
Table all so bare, and ah!
Poor Papa, and poor Mamma
Look quite cross, and wonder
how
They shall have their dinner
now.
The Story of Johnny Head-in-Air
As he trudged along to school,
It was always Johnny’s
rule
To be looking at the sky
And the clouds that floated
by;
But what just before him lay,
In his way,
Johnny never thought about;
So that every one cried out
“Look at little Johnny
there,
Little Johnny Head-In-Air!”
Running just in Johnny’s
way
Came a little dog one day;
Johnny’s eyes were still
astray
Up on high,
In the sky;
And he never heard them cry
“Johnny, mind, the dog
is nigh!”
Bump!
Dump!
Down they fell, with such
a thump,
Dog and Johnny in a lump!
Once, with head as high as
ever,
Johnny walked beside the river.
Johnny watched the swallows
trying
Which was cleverest at flying.
Oh! what fun!
Johnny watched the bright
round sun
Going in and coming out;
This was all he thought about.
So he strode on, only think!
To the river’s very
brink,
Where the bank was high and
steep,
And the water very deep;
And the fishes, in a row,
Stared to see him coming so.
One step more! oh! sad to
tell!
Headlong in poor Johnny fell.
And the fishes, in dismay,
Wagged their tails and swam
away.
There lay Johnny on his face,
With his nice red writing-case;
But, as they were passing
by,
Two strong men had heard him
cry;
And, with sticks, these two
strong men
Hooked poor Johnny out again.
Oh! you should have seen him
shiver
When they pulled him from
the river.
He was in a sorry plight!
Dripping wet, and such a fright!
Wet all over, everywhere,
Clothes, and arms, and face,
and hair:
Johnny never will forget
What it is to be so wet.
And the fishes, one, two,
three,
Are come back again, you see;
Up they came the moment after,
To enjoy the fun and laughter.
Each popped out his little
head,
And, to tease poor Johnny,
said
“Silly little Johnny,
look,
You have lost your writing-book!”
When the rain comes tumbling
down
In the country or the town,
All good little girls and
boys
Stay at home and mind their
toys.
Robert thought, “No,
when it pours,
It is better out of doors.”
Rain it did, and in a minute
Bob was in it.
Here you see him, silly fellow,
Underneath his red umbrella.
What a wind! oh! how it whistles
Through the trees and flowers
and thistles!
It has caught his red umbrella:
Now look at him, silly fellow—
Up he flies
To the skies.
No one heard his screams and
cries;
Through the clouds the rude
wind bore him,
And his hat flew on before
him.
Soon they got to such a height,
They were nearly out of sight.
And the hat went up so high,
That it nearly touched the
sky.
No one ever yet could tell
Where they stopped, or where
they fell:
Only this one thing is plain,
Bob was never seen again!