Smart SIR,

’You are pleased to be very merry, as you imagine, with us Widows:  And you seem to ground your Satyr on our receiving Consolation so soon after the Death of our Dears, and the Number we are pleased to admit for our Companions; but you never reflect what Husbands we have buried, and how short a Sorrow the Loss of them was capable of occasioning.  For my own Part, Mrs. President as you call me, my First Husband I was marry’d to at Fourteen, by my Uncle and Guardian (as I afterwards discovered) by way of Sale, for the Third part of my Fortune.  This Fellow looked upon me as a meer Child, he might breed up after his own Fancy; if he kissed my Chamber-Maid before my Face, I was supposed so ignorant, how could I think there was any Hurt in it?  When he came home Roaring Drunk at five in the Morning, ’twas the Custom of all Men that live in the World.  I was not to see a Penny of Money, for, poor Thing, how could I manage it?  He took a handsome Cousin of his into the House, (as he said) to be my Housekeeper, and to govern my Servants; for how should I know how to rule a Family? and while she had what Money she pleased, which was but reasonable for the Trouble she was at for my Good, I was not to be so censorious as to dislike Familiarity and Kindness between near Relations.  I was too great a Coward to contend, but not so ignorant a Child to be thus imposed upon.  I resented his Contempt as I ought to do, and as most poor passive blinded Wives do, ’till it pleased Heaven to take away my Tyrant, who left me free Possession of my own Land, and a large Jointure.  My Youth and Money brought me many Lovers, and several endeavoured to establish an Interest in my Heart while my Husband was in his last Sickness; the Honourable Edward Waitfort was one of the first who addressed to me, advised to it by a Cousin of his that was my intimate Friend, and knew to a Penny what I was worth.  Mr. Waitfort is a very agreeable Man, and every Body would like him as well as he does himself, if they did not plainly see that his Esteem and Love is all taken up, and by such an Object, as ’tis impossible to get the better of.  I mean himself.  He made no doubt of marrying me within Four or Five Months, and begun to proceed with such an assured easie Air, that piqued my Pride not to banish him; quite contrary, out of pure Malice, I heard his first Declaration with so much innocent Surprize, and blushed so prettily, I perceived it touched his very Heart, and he thought me the best-natured Silly poor thing on Earth.  When a Man has such a Notion of a Woman, he loves her better than he thinks he does.  I was overjoy’d to be thus revenged on him, for designing on my Fortune; and finding it was in my Power to make his Heart ake, I resolved to compleat my Conquest, and entertain’d several other Pretenders.  The first Impression of my undesigning Innocence was so strong in his Head, he attributed all my Followers to the inevitable