’I am an Half-pay Officer, and am at present with a Friend in the Country.  Here is a rich Widow in the Neighbourhood, who has made Fools of all the Fox-hunters within fifty Miles of her.  She declares she intends to marry, but has not yet been asked by the Man she could like.  She usually admits her humble Admirers to an Audience or two, but, after she has once given them Denial will never see them more.  I am assured by a Female Relation, that I shall have fair Play at her; but as my whole Success Depends on my first Approaches, I desire your Advice, whether I had best Storm or proceed by way of Sap.

  I am, SIR, Yours, &c.

  ’P.  S. I had forgot to tell you, that I have already carried one of
  her Outworks, that is, secured her Maid.

  Mr.  SPECTATOR,

’I have assisted in several Sieges in the Low-Countries, and being still willing to employ my Talents, as a Soldier and Engineer, lay down this Morning at Seven a Clock before the Door of an obstinate Female, who had for some time refused me Admittance.  I made a Lodgment in an outer Parlour about Twelve:  The Enemy retired to her Bed-Chamber, yet I still pursued, and about two a-Clock this Afternoon she thought fit to Capitulate.  Her Demands are indeed somewhat high, in Relation to the Settlement of her Fortune.  But being in Possession of the House, I intend to insist upon Carte-Blanche, and am in hopes, by keeping off all other Pretenders for the Space of twenty four Hours, to starve her into a Compliance.  I beg your speedy Advice, and am,

  SIR, Yours, Peter Push.

  From my Camp in Red-Lion Square, Saturday_ 4, in the Afternoon.

* * * * *

No. 567.  Wednesday, July 14, 1714.  Addison.

  ‘—­Inceptus clamor frustratur hiantes.’

  Virg.

I have received private Advice from some of my Correspondents, that if I would give my Paper a general Run, I should take care to season it with Scandal.  I have indeed observed of late, that few Writings sell which are not filled with great Names and illustrious Titles.  The Reader generally casts his Eye upon a new Book, and if he finds several Letters separated from one another by a Dash, he buys it up, and peruses it with great Satisfaction.  An M and an h, a T and an r [1], with a short Line between them, has sold many an Insipid Pamphlet.  Nay I have known a whole Edition go off by vertue of two or three well written &c—­’s.

A sprinkling of the Words Faction, Frenchman, Papist, Plunderer, and the like significant Terms, in an Italick Character, have also a very good Effect upon the Eye of the [Purchaser; [2]] not to mention Scribler, Lier, Rogue, Rascal, Knave, and Villain, without which it is impossible to carry on a Modern Controversie.