’P.S.  I herewith send you a Paper, drawn up by a Country Attorney employed by two Gentlemen, whose Names he was not acquainted with, and who did not think fit to let him into the Secret which they were transacting.  I heard him call it a Blank Instrument, and read it after the following Manner.  You may see by this single Instance of what Use I am to the busy World.

’I T. Blank, Esq., of Blank Town, in the County of Blank, do own my self indebted in the Sum of Blank, to Goodman Blank, for the Service he did me in procuring for me the Goods following, Blank:  And I do hereby promise the said Blank to pay unto him the said Sum of Blank, on the Blank Day of the Month of Blank next ensuing, under the Penalty and Forfeiture of Blank.

I shall take Time to consider the Case of this my imaginary Correspondent, and in the mean while shall present my Reader with a Letter which seems to come from a Person that is made up of Flesh and Blood.

  Good Mr. SPECTATOR,

’I am married to a very honest Gentleman that is exceedingly good-natured, and at the same time very cholerick.  There is no standing before him when he is in a Passion; but as soon as it is over he is the best-humour’d Creature in the World.  When he is angry, he breaks all my China-Ware that chances to lie in his Way, and the next Morning sends me in twice as much as he broke the Day before.  I may positively say, that he has broke me a Child’s Fortune since we were first marry’d together.

’As soon as he begins to fret, down goes every thing that is within Reach of his Cane.  I once prevailed upon him never to carry a Stick in his Hand, but this saved me nothing; for upon seeing me do something that did not please him, he kicked down a great Jarr, that cost him above Ten Pound but the Week before.  I then laid the Fragments together in a Heap, and gave him his Cane again, desiring him that if he chanced to be in Anger, he would spend his Passion upon the China that was broke to his Hand:  But the very next Day upon my giving a wrong Message to one of the Servants, he flew into such a Rage, that he swept down a Dozen Tea-Dishes, which, to my Misfortune, stood very convenient for a Side-Blow.

  I then removed all my China into a Room which he never frequents; but
  I got nothing by this neither, for my Looking-Glasses immediately went
  to Rack.

’In short, Sir, whenever he is in a Passion he is angry at every thing that is brittle; and if on such Occasions he had nothing to vent his Rage upon, I do not know whether my Bones would be in Safety.  Let me beg of you, Sir, to let me know whether there be any Cure for this unaccountable Distemper; or if not, that you will be pleased to publish this Letter:  For my Husband having a great Veneration for your Writings, will by that means know you do not approve of his Conduct.  I am,

  Your most humble Servant, &c.