“Sit down, Mr. Edgerton!” directed the lady impressively.  “No, you’ll find that other chair more comfortable; the one you’re in’s got a hump in the seat.  As I was saying to the butler before you came, I’ve been insulted and I propose to teach that woman she can’t make small of me no matter what it costs—­and Pierpont says you’re no slouch of a charger at that.”

“My dear madam!” stammered the embarrassed attorney.  “Of course, there are lawyers and lawyers.  But if you wish the best I feel sure my firm charges no more than others of equal standing.  In any event you can be assured of our devotion to your interests.  Now what, may I ask, are the circumstances of the case?”

“Mr. Edgerton,” she began, “I just want you should listen carefully to what I have to say.  This woman next door to me here has—­”

At this point, as paper is precious and the lady voluble, we will drop the curtain upon the first act of our legal comedy.

* * * * *

“I suppose we’ll have to do it for her!” growled Mr. Wilfred Edgerton to his brother on his return to their office.  “She’s a crazy idiot and I’m very much afraid we’ll all get involved in a good deal of undesirable publicity.  Still, she’s the wife of the vice president of our best paying client!”

“What does she want us to do?” asked Mr. Winfred, the other Edgerton.  “We can’t afford to be made ridiculous—­for anybody.”

This was quite true since dignity was Edgerton & Edgerton’s long suit, they being the variety of Wall Street lawyers who are said to sleep in their tall hats and cutaways.

“If you can imagine it,” replied his brother irritably, “she insists on our having Mrs. Wells arrested for obstructing the street in front of her house.  She asked me if it wasn’t against the law, and I took a chance and told her it was.  Then she wanted to start for the police court at once, but as I’d never been in one I said we’d have to prepare the papers; I didn’t know what papers.”

“But we can’t arrest Mrs. Wells!” expostulated Mr. Winfred Edgerton.  “She’s socially one of our most prominent people.  I dined with her only last week!”

“That’s why Mrs. Pumpelly wants to have her arrested, I fancy!” replied Mr. Wilfred gloomily.  “Mrs. Wells has given her the cold shoulder.  It’s no use; I tried to argue the old girl out of it, but I couldn’t.  She knows what she wants and she jolly well intends to have it.”

“I wish you joy of her!” mournfully rejoined the younger Edgerton.  “But it’s your funeral.  I can’t help you.  I never got anybody arrested and I haven’t the least idea how to go about it.”

“Neither have I,” admitted his brother.  “Luckily my practise has not been of that sort.  However, it can’t be a difficult matter.  The main thing is to know exactly what we are trying to arrest Mrs. Wells for.”

“Why don’t you retain Tutt & Tutt to do it for us?” suggested Winfred.  “Criminal attorneys are used to all that sort of rotten business.”