LADY DELAHUNTY He isn’t tryin’ to back out of anythin’, Donal.  But as we were sayin’ to-day when we heard that His Majesty, the King of Great Britain and Ireland, Australia, Canada, and India, as well.—­(Looks at Sir Denis who is trying to light a clay pipe) Ahem! ahem!  Sir Denis, Sir Denis.

SIR DENIS (bored)
Alright, alright.

LADY DELAHUNTY Didn’t I tell you never to leave me see you with a clay pipe in your gob again?  Where are the cigars I bought for you this morning?

SIR DENIS (searches in his pocket and pulls out a cigar) Wisha the devil a taste can I get from one of them.  I might as well be tryin’ to smoke a piece of furze bush.

LADY DELAHUNTY Taste or no taste, put that pipe back in your pocket.  What would the King and his daughters think if they saw you suckin’ an old dudeen like that?

KITTY ’Tis little bother any of us are to the King or his daughters, either, I’m thinking.

DONAL I’ll put a padlock on that mouth of yours, if you don’t hold your tongue.

LADY DELAHUNTY Well, as I was sayin’, when His Majesty so graciously honoured Sir Dinny and myself, we held a long and lengthy consultation and came to the conclusion after a good deal of consideration, that it might be as well not to hurry Finbarr’s marriage.  We were thinkin’ of sendin’ him across to England to finish his education:  so that he may be able to take his place with the foreign aristocracy.

SIR DENIS Of course, we all know that there is no better hurler in the whole country, and no finer man ever cracked a whip, and no better man ever stood behind a plough, or turned cows out of a meadow, but the devil a bit at all he knows about the higher accomplishments of the nobility.

LADY DELAHUNTY Such as playin’ cricket and polo, and drinkin’ afternoon tea with a napkin on his knee, like one of the gentry themselves.  And between ourselves, he cares no more about cigarettes than his father does about cigars.

SIR DENIS Notwithstanding all that, ’tis my belief that after six months in England, he would be fit company for the best people in the land.

DONAL What the blazes does he want learnin’ to play polo for, when he must make his livin’ as a farmer?

LADY DELAHUNTY
Listen now, Donal, and be reasonable.  When—­

DONAL
Is it the way you want to break off the match?  The
truth now, and nothin’ else.

LADY DELAHUNTY Of course, we don’t want the match to be broken off.  But now that Finbarr is heir to a title—­well, we all know that Kitty is a very nice and good girl; but as Sir Denis says:  “’Tis a pity that we should force people to marry against their will, and—­”

DONAL The long and short of it is that my daughter isn’t good enough for your damn, flat-footed clodhopper of a son.  Though ’twas Dinny himself that forced the match on me.

LADY DELAHUNTY (indignantly)
Sir Denis, if you please.