how that same drink can change a man from the ordinary humdrum things of life and turn his mind to noble ideals, and make of him an artist and an inspired one at that.  Now science has proved to us that in every one man there are two men,—­the artist, if I might be permitted to use the term, and the house-breaker.  But as the two men are only one man, and the artist is the better of the two, then to the artist let us pay our respects, and dismiss the charge of house-breaking.

MRS. FENNELL (sadly) Ah, God help us!  The town will be full of artists when the militia comes home.

MR. O’CROWLEY The charge of house-breaking then will be dismissed, but I must impose a heavy fine and sentence for using the illegal intoxicant, poteen.

MR. CASSIDY
Will your Worship be good enough before passing
sentence to make sure that the liquor is poteen?

MR. O’CROWLEY
We have it on the testimony of the sergeant that it is
poteen.

MR. CASSIDY But with all due respect to the court, we cannot convict any one on such evidence.  What does the sergeant know about poteen?

SERGEANT HEALY (indignantly)
What do I know about poteen, is it?  How dare you,
sir?  Was there a better maker of poteen in the
County Cork than my own father, rest his soul!

MR. O’CROWLEY Now, isn’t that evidence enough for you?  Does the sergeant look like a man who doesn’t know the difference between a good and a bad drop of whiskey?

MR. CASSIDY (sarcastically) I beg your Worship’s pardon.  But my client states that the evidence is insufficient, and if he should be convicted, he will bring the case before the Four Courts of Dublin.

SERGEANT HEALY He can bring it to the four courts of—­Jericho, if he likes, but that stuff in the bottle is poteen all the same.

MARTIN O’FLYNN As Mr. Fennel is so dogmatic about this liquor not being poteen, why does he not tell us where and from whom he purchased it? (To the sergeant) Are you sure, Sergeant Healy, that this liquor is poteen?

SERGEANT HEALY As well as I remember the taste of it, your Worship, it is.  But perhaps ’twould be better to make sure and try again.

MARTIN O’FLYNN
Try again, then.

SERGEANT HEALY
Very well.

[Pours out a little and drinks it, smacks his lips, but says nothing.

MR. O’CROWLEY
Well, Sergeant, what is it?

MARTIN O’FLYNN
Is it or is it not poteen?

SERGEANT HEALY
I don’t get the flavor of it yet.

[Takes another drop.

MR. O’CROWLEY
What is it, Sergeant, poteen or just bad whiskey?

SERGEANT HEALY Bedad, ’tis hard to tell.  Sometimes I think ’tis poteen, and sometimes I think it isn’t.  But whatever it is, it isn’t so good as the stuff me poor father used to brew.  Maybe the constable could tell us.  He comes from Castletownballymacreedy, where they make the best poteen in Ireland.