* * * * *

HOW FACT PLAGIARIZES FROM FICTION.

From the report of a Landlord v. Tenant case:—­

    “Mrs. Barkiss said she was quite willing to leave some
    day.”—­Local Paper.

* * * * *

“GATWICK MEETING.

    Never has this popular rendezvous looked more
    beautiful, thanks to the wealth of owers on the members’
    lawn.”—­Provincial Paper.

We gather that it had been a bad day for backers.

* * * * *

RECOGNITION A LA MODE.

(A Romance of False Perspective.)

The Press, ever anxious, as the guardians of public sentiment, to correct the reaction that is apt to follow upon any great outburst of popular enthusiasm, did well to describe the impending arrival of Prince Ongtong, of the Solomon Islands, with his famous mixed choir, as the second best news since the signing of the Armistice.  We are glad to think that the reception of this illustrious potentate in our midst was worthy of the occasion.

There was a time when our relations with the Solomon Islanders were strained.  Their pagan and, we regret to say, anthropophagous habits laid them open to a certain amount of criticism.  Not many years ago Mr. Bamberger, the famous violinist, in the course of a triumphal tour in the Southern Pacific, was captured by the inhabitants of Kulambranga, detained for several weeks in captivity in a mangrove swamp, where he suffered great inconvenience from the gigantic frogs (Rana Guppyi) which infest this region, and was only rescued with great difficulty by a punitive expedition—­conducted by Sir Pompey Boldero—­when on the eve of being sacrificed to the gastronomic exigencies of his captors.

But this happily is all ancient history now.  The Solomon Islanders for several years have been confirmed vegetarians, and the pronounced modification in their mesocephalic skulls and the improvement of their facial angle afford the surest guarantee against any relapse.  Furthermore the instruction in music which they received from Mr. Bamberger has exerted a profoundly mollifying effect on their manners.  Mr. Clutton Brock has pronounced them to be the most artistic of all the Papuans.  Their paintings show a remarkable affinity to the style of Picasso and Matisse.  Their choral singing is the glory of the South Pacific.

Prince Ongtong and his party, who made the journey by long sea in a flotilla of catamarans and sampans, arrived at Southampton on Saturday, where they were met by perhaps the most representative and influential gathering of public men ever seen in our times.  The procession to the Town Hall was headed by Lord READING, Lord SYDENHAM, Mr. BOTTOMLEY, Mr. HOGGE, Sir LEO CHIOZZA MONEY, Mr. SMILLIE and Mr. EUSTACE MILES.  Then followed Prince Ongtong and his choir, superbly gowned in their flowing sarongs, wearing their long Papuan pampooties and followed in turn by a group of instrumentalists playing on conchs, nose-flutes and a species of mouth-organ closely resembling the jew’s-harp, but much larger and more penetrating in its quality.  The crowds in the street were enormous; hundreds of strong women fainted, and the casualties are estimated at upwards of five thousand.