A SURE TEST OF LOVE

Black relates in his Things Chinese, that after the wedding ceremony

“the bride tries hard ... to get a piece of her husband’s dress under her when she sits down, for if she does, it will insure her having the upper hand of him, while he tries to prevent her and to do the same thing himself.”

Similar customs prevail in other parts of the world, as among the Esthonians. (Schroeder, 234.) After the priest has united the couple they walk toward the wagon or sleigh, and in doing so each of the two tries to be first to step on the other’s foot, because that will decide who is to rule at home.  Imagine such petty selfishness, such a disgraceful lack of gallantry, on the very wedding-day!  In our own country, when we hear of a bride objecting to the word “obey” in the wedding ceremony, we may feel absolutely sure that the marriage is not a love-match, at least as far as she is concerned.  A girl truly in love with a man laughs at the word, because she feels as if she would rather be his slave than any other man’s queen; and as for the lover, the bride’s promise to “obey” him seems mere folly, for he is determined she shall always remain the autocratic queen of his heart and actions.  Conjugal disappointments may modify that feeling, to be sure, but that does not alter the fact that while romantic love exists, one of its essential ingredients is an impulse of gallant devotion and deference on both sides—­an impulse which on occasion rises to self-sacrifice, which is simply an extreme phase of gallantry.

XI.  ALTRUISTIC SELF-SACRIFICE

In the very olden time, if we may confide in the ingenious Frank Stockton, there lived a semi-barbaric king who devised a highly original way of administering justice, leaving the accused man’s fate practically in his own hands.  There was an arena with the king’s throne on one side and galleries for the people all around.  On a signal by the king a door beneath him opened and the accused subject stepped out into the amphitheatre.  Directly opposite the throne were two doors, exactly alike, and side by side.  The person on trial had to walk to those doors and open either of them.  If he opened one, there sprang out a fierce tiger who immediately tore him to pieces; if the other, there came forth a beautiful lady, to whom he was forthwith married.  No one ever knew behind which of the doors was the tiger, so that the audience no more than the prisoner knew whether he was to be devoured or married.