His dilemma is a very painful one for a man so sensitive and at the same time so enamoured of stockbroking.  Hard as the renunciation will be, I really believe he will end by turning his back on the Exchange for ever and taking a regular commission, though I try to persuade him that if he will only brave the horrors of peace as he braved the horrors of war he will win through in the end and grow out of his face.

* * * * *

PROMOTION.

    “Ex-Batman wanted as General in private house.”—­Times.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  AN IRRESISTIBLE CLAIM.

ROUMANIA.  “I HOPE, WHILE THEY’RE FEEDING THEIR STARVING ENEMIES, THEY
WON’T FORGET THEIR STARVING FRIENDS.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

[Illustration:  Duke of Venice (the Lord Chancellor), to Portia.  “YOU ARE WELCOME:  TAKE YOUR PLACE.”—­Merchant of Venice, Act IV.  Sc. 1. ]

* * * * *

Monday, March 10th.—­Sir JAMES AGG-GARDNER asked two questions dealing with the distribution of poisons.  By a singular coincidence—­or was it design?—­the hon. baronet was himself, as Chairman of the Kitchen Committee, accused by Mr. BOTTOMLEY of having purveyed poison in the shape of stale fish to sundry Members of the House, thereby causing them serious internal disturbance.  Happily he was able to show that the charge was entirely baseless.

Scots legal terminology always puzzles me.  The “peremptory diets” which Mr. MACQUISTEN urged upon the attention of the SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY as a remedy for the grievances of Glasgow’s financiers are not, as you might suppose, a synonym for forcible feeding; nor have they anything to do with the substitutes for “parritch” to which, as I gathered from Mr. STURROCK, the people of Scotland are being obliged to resort owing to the high price of oatmeal.

Members rubbed their eyes a little when they heard Colonel AMERY declare that the general policy of the Government regarding Imperial Preference had been “clearly defined” and in the ensuing debate Sir DONALD MACLEAN declared that, on the contrary, their whole fiscal policy was “wrop in mystery.”

The veil was lifted to some extent by Sir AUCKLAND GEDDES, the Ministerial “handy man,” who, in the absence through illness of Sir ALBERT STANLEY, explained how the Government proposed to regulate imports and exports during the transitional period.  Up to September 1st our manufacturers are to enjoy a sort of close-time, free from foreign competition, but after that they must, like the partridges, take their chance.

Later in the evening the House welcomed a new orator in Dr. MURRAY, who sits for the Western Isles.  He made a rousing appeal on behalf of the men—­practically the whole able-bodied population—­who had gone from them to fight the Empire’s battles.  In his view the SECRETARY FOR SCOTLAND was too mild in his methods, and should be “bristling with thistles and flourishing the claymore” when he tackled the reform of the Land Laws.  Mr. MUNRO was evidently flattered by this tribute to the martial potentialities underlying his eminently pacific exterior.