“I am allowed the reputation of a tolerable guide in writing and style, and I can certainly help you to produce clear English.”  These words, written in 1881, are to be found in a letter of GEORGE MEREDITH to his eldest son.  They show how wildly mistaken even the best of us may be with regard to our own qualities and gifts; for if there is one thing that MEREDITH could not produce, that thing is clear English.  Mr. S.M.  ELLIS agrees with me in this particular point, and has written George Meredith:  His Life and Friends in Relation to his Work (GRANT RICHARDS) to prove that this is so.  The book is a curious compound.  At one moment Mr. ELLIS sets out in detail the Meredithian genealogy, and shows that MEREDITH was the son and grandson of tailors and did not relish the relationship; at another moment he describes MEREDITH’S delightful and exuberantly youthful characteristics as a friend; and again he shows how badly MEREDITH behaved in regard to his first wife (though she was much more in fault), and also in regard to his first son, Arthur.  Still the book is extremely interesting and, though it does not profess to deal in elaborate criticism, it contains some very shrewd comments on MEREDITH’S work and the reasons that made his novels so many sealed books to the British public.  Here and there Mr. ELLIS allows himself almost to write a passage or two in the style of the master.  This is one of them:  “As he [Maurice Fitzgerald] was the gourmetic instrument that brought Mrs. Ockenden’s art to perfect expression, he appropriately attained immortalisation jointly with her at the hands of the friend who had shared with him the joys of that good woman’s superlative cookery in Seaford days.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE PAY-TABLE. (THE END OF A PERFECT WAR.) “JOHN SMITH, A.B., THREE POUNDS TEN—­IN DEBT.”]

* * * * *

    “Wanted, half-governess for boy aged nine, girl aged six;
    wages L30 per year.”—­Morning Post.

A half-governess is, we suppose, the feminine equivalent of two quartermasters.

* * * * *

    “Lady Nurse, nursery college trained, wanted, under 34;
    very experienced babies.”—­Provincial Paper.

Perhaps they will know too much for her.

* * * * *

    “Will gentleman, navy mackintosh, who spoke to lady, blue
    hat, vicinity Park Station, Tuesday, 6 o’clock, speak again
    same time?”—­Liverpool Echo.

The gentleman will doubtless beg a ride on Mr. H.G.  WELLS’S “Time Machine” in order to get back in time for the appointment.

* * * * *

    [Sir WILLIAM BEVERIDGE.  K.O.B., has been appointed Permanent
    Secretary to the Ministry of Food.]

  To skimp its daily bread for beer
    Was not this nation’s mood;
  But now with lightened hearts we hear
    That BEVERIDGE turns to Food.