However, the Company Commanders, being men of merit, cheerfully accepted the situation and approached their victims.  “We are going to teach you,” they said.  “What would you like to be taught?”

“Well,” said the victims, “what have you got?”

“Oh, anything you like,” said the Company Commanders.  “Just you choose your subject and we’ll do the rest.”

Now that was very generous, but rather rash.  For the victims took them at their word, and so by the time the perspiring Platoon Commanders had produced their returns (in triplicate) it was found that there were forty-three subjects to be provided for, including seven languages, six branches of science, four kinds of engineering, six commercial subjects and various sundries, such as metaphysics, wool-classing and coker-nut planting.

The way the Company Commanders dealt with this problem was quite simple and ingenious.  They sent for all junior officers and asked what they were prepared to teach.  The result seemed really rather good.  Tom said he would take French, having spent three months in Northern France before they sent him to Salonika.  Dick’s father has an allotment and Dick himself occasionally hunts, so he chose Agriculture, Oswald chose Mathematics, on the strength of having been a Quartermaster-Sergeant in the Public Schools Brigade in September, 1914.  Wilfred once went to a gas course for ten days, so of course his subject was Science.  Arthur really does know something about Architecture and can also enlarge a map quite nicely, so he put down Drawing.  John chose Theology.  He said he once read the lessons in church; really he thought he was safe to draw a blank.

Once more the Company Commanders were equal to the emergency.  They looked at it in this way.  French is a foreign language; Spanish is also a foreign language.  Tom offers to teach a foreign language; therefore Tom shall teach Spanish.  Corn-growing in Western Canada, sheep-raising in Australia and coker-nut planting are all obviously agriculture.  Dick says he can teach Agriculture; so he shall.  The science of manures caused some discussion as to whether it should be agriculture or science, but it was finally settled in favour of science, which also included physics, electricity and crystallography.  John got four theological students, but, when he investigated, he found that one was a Jew and one a Presbyterian minister, while the other two, like himself, thought that no one else would have thought of it.  And these touch only the fringe of the subject.

The indent sent in for materials was a rather formidable one, but the article most in demand was a sheep, which was wanted at the same time by Dick for his Agriculture and Arthur for his Drawing, and also by Mac, who is O.C. the Butchery class.  Mac wrote a polite little note saying he must have at least one a week, and he’d like “a pig to be going on with, if you please,” promising to hand, the latter over complete and in good order, when he’d done with it, to Jones for his bacon-curing class, “upon receipt of signature for same.”