* * * * *

A PLEA FOR PROPORTION.

[Its contemporaries having told us all about Mr. Lloyd George’s hat and how President Wilson ate a banana, The Daily Express recently went one better with the headline, “Mr. Balfour joins a Tennis Club,” as the subheading of its “Peace Conference Notes.”]

  Has it always been this way, I wonder,
    Did editors always display
  The same disposition to blunder
    O’er the weight of the news of the day? 
  When simpler was war and directer,
    Was Athens accustomed to see
  In the sheets of its Argus how Hector
    Had bloaters for tea?

  If so—­or indeed if it’s not so—­
    One cannot but gently deplore
  That the custom of chronicling rot so
    Has not been expunged by the War. 
  When the world with its horrors still stunned is
    And waits for vast hopes to come true,
  What boots it if delegates’ undies
    Are scarlet or blue?

  All facts of those delegates’ labours
    I’m ready to read with a zest,
  And they must, like myself and my neighbours,
    I know, have their moments of rest;
  I do not begrudge them their pleasures,
    But frankly I don’t care a rap
  If the sport that engages their leisure’s
    “Up, Jenkins” or “Snap.”

  Since the founts of its wisdom present us
    Each morning with gems of this kind,
  Such matters must strike as momentous
    The news-editorial mind;
  ’Tis time this delusion was done with,
    High time that some voice made it clear
  We don’t want those fountains to run with
    Such very small beer.

* * * * *

“A married man, aged 34 years, collided with the mail train when riding a motorcycle into Hawera on Friday.  His right arm, collarbone, and blue hospital uniforms on Thursday morning.”—­New Zealand Herald.

We rather like this telescopic style of reporting.  It leaves something to the reader’s imagination.

* * * * *

“To Parents and Pawnbrokers.—­Anyone assisting to remove the Charity Boots, marked B., from the Children’s Feet, which are the property of Mr. J. B——­ and his Supporters, WILL BE PROSECUTED.”—­Irish Paper.

A distressful country, indeed, where the children do not own their own feet.

* * * * *

WINCHESTER’S OPPORTUNITY.

War legislation has pressed hard on many callings, and on none more than that of the architect.  But the embargo has been lifted; the ancient art is coming to its own again, and it is of happy omen that the new President of the Royal Academy has been chosen from the architects.  In this context we welcome the stimulating article in a recent issue of The Times a propos of the Winchester War Memorial.