So I shall steal to yon allotment space
    With a large bag of rabbits, and unseen
  Demobilise them, and in that fair place
    They all shall browse on cauliflower and bean;
      There Smith will come on Saturday, and think
      That it is shell-shock or disease or drink;
      But Maud shall dwell for ever there and sink
    A world of burrows in Laburnum Green.  A.P.H.

* * * * *

SECRETS OF THE PEACE CONFERENCE.

“The proceedings yesterday afternoon began punctually at three o’clock.  Lord Robert Cecil sat with the British delegates.  M. Leon Bourgeois sat among the French delegates.”—­Manchester Guardian.

And not, as might have been thought, vice versa.

* * * * *

“A thoroughly capable and energetic man wanted, who will look after a family concern:  Must understand management of 25 acre farm with 10 cows, about four acres may have to be broken up.  Must be an experienced brewer, capable of mashing 10 times a week, and taking entire charge of brewing operations with assistance of unskilled labour.  Must be conversant with licensing laws and requirements, also present restrictions as applying to brewing; thoroughly understand and superintend wines and spirits department, direct repairs, capable buyer, general manager, organiser and foreman.  Must be thorough accountant, capable of directing office and branch work, conversant with income-tax and excess profits duty practice.  Able to drive, or willing to learn a 4-ton Commer lorry, must be motor-cyclist to visit branches, and manage public-houses.  Absolutely essential to understand and drive oil engines.—­Further particulars apply ——­ and Sons.”—­Daily Paper.

What we chiefly miss is any information as to how the man is to fill up his spare time.

* * * * *

    “ITALIAN SPELLING.

“There are to be streets in Athens named after President Wilson and after Mr. Lloyd George.  In the ‘Patris,’ an Athens paper, we read that ‘Wilson’ is spelt ‘Ouilson,’ whilst ‘George’ is Tzortz,’ ‘Bonar Law’ is ‘Mponar Lo.’”—­Birmingham Mail.

We bow to our contemporary’s erudition, but we confess it all looks Greek to us.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE PROGRESSIVE WEIGHT-LIFTER.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Betty.  “MUMMY, DOES GOD SEND US OUR FOOD?”

Mother.  “YES, DEAR; OF COURSE HE DOES.”

Betty.  “BUT WHAT A PRICE!”]

* * * * *

ALL THE TALENTS.

Now that hostilities are at an end it is thought by many intelligent young subalterns that a little variety might well be introduced into Army routine.

For instance, at a General’s Inspection why should not Officers’ duties be allotted after this fashion?—­